


Baby Blue: Part 2

by thesecretdoor



Series: Baby Blue [2]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:51:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 43,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10618242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesecretdoor/pseuds/thesecretdoor
Summary: It was all supposed to end with the tour...but what if they can't stop? What if they won't stop? How will it affect their relationship, and their relationships with those closest to them?





	1. May 14th 2012

Three weeks had passed since Ueda had last been with Taguchi, or rather been with him in a personal way. Of course there was still work, there were interviews and photoshoots, TV shows to film for, and already talks were beginning about a new single. Being around each other so much did nothing for Ueda’s self control.

Just days after their last personal encounter, Ueda had blushed madly when Taguchi had complimented him on his hair style, and had to forcibly stop himself from making a mental note to wear it that way more often. There had been other similar comments too, spouted off with such carelessness that Ueda had the feeling Taguchi hadn’t meant to voice the majority of them.

It was touches too, nothing inappropriate or sexual, though if Ueda was honest with himself it didn’t take much to find a sensual hint in the younger mans touches. Just a gentle brush of a hand along his arm or shoulder, but given what had occurred between them before, it felt like something intimate.

Naturally with the theme of ‘chain’ still strong in the group there were lots of photographers asking for more shots of the whole group linking arms or holding hands and Ueda actually found himself a little relieved that whenever he got the chance too, Kame placed himself firmly between Taguchi and Ueda. On the odd occasion where Kame hadn’t been quick enough, or the photographer had other ideas, Ueda found the moment Taguchi’s hand closed around his, his heart would speed up and he would suddenly become far too aware of his own skin, of the blood rushing warmer beneath it, and the way his body would produce extra sweat as the younger man gripped his hand tightly.

Even if the touches weren’t inappropriate, Ueda’s thoughts were. He didn’t mind quite as much when he was in his own home, alone, but when they were on some kind of TV set and Taguchi moved in some indefinable but perfect way, or looked at something with the right kind of intensity... at those times he really wished his stylist hadn’t started insisting he wear tighter pants.

He’d wanted many times to just give in to the temptations, but he knew it wouldn’t be any good. For a start he just wasn’t ready for a relationship. Around three years ago he’d been very happily in a relationship, they’d met when they performed together in the stage play of ‘Romeo and Juliet’. He’d fallen for Kobayashi Ryoko very quickly, she was cute, sweet and very caring. Since the first time they met she’d been very doting on him, always going out of her way to make things more comfortable for him, though insisting the whole time it was just because he was KAT-TUN’s Ueda, and not because she had some secret crush on him. It didn’t take long for him to confess his feelings, though it took a little while longer for her to give in and confess hers, and then after that they were perfectly happy...for a few months. She’d seemed like everything he’d been looking for, she still had that cute, sweetness about her, but once they were more open to each other he saw her bold, confident, sexy side too and he just loved her all the more. He’d even began thinking of proposing, but as the year went on they both got busier, their schedules clashed more and they ended up spending very little time together and that seemed to make Ryoko sour. Eventually after another few months of this estranged relationship Ueda learnt that she’d been seeing someone else secretly. It was someone she’d met while filming ‘Samurai High School’ though she’d insisted that nothing started until months after filming finished, not that it had been of any consolation to a crushed Ueda who’d been trying so hard to make things work.

Ueda slammed his fist against the dressing table and the noise surprised him out of his reverie. He was waiting for Nakamaru in the dressing room after his photoshoot ended since they had R-one recording together. He looked to the mirror in front of him, confused to see tears on his face, it wasn’t unusual for him to get angry whenever he thought of Ryoko, but the tears hadn’t shown themselves in such a long time.

He hid his face quickly as the door to the dressing room opened.

“Uepi? Is everything ok?” when Ueda just nodded, Taguchi stepped closer. “Uepi have you been crying?”

Ueda quickly rubbed his hands over his face again. “No” he replied sounding offended. But Taguchi didn’t buy it and he moved to sit on the dressing table in front of Ueda.

“I thought we were closer than that now?” but Ueda just turned his head away from him. “Tatsuya...” he tried gently, and it got the other mans attention at least.

Ueda looked up at the younger man’s face, lined with worry but somehow still almost perfectly beautiful “It’s nothing, I promise” he tried a smile. “I just got all worked up thinking about Ryoko...”

Taguchi looked almost pained to ask “Are you...still in love with her?” Ueda laughed a little and stood up, he brushed back a little of Taguchi’s hair, feeling compelled somehow to soothe that look off his face.

“No, I’m not...I just get so angry about it still...you’re really sweet though” Taguchi smiled and stood up from the counter to face Ueda full on. “Thank you Junno” and he wrapped his arms gently around Taguchi’s body in a soft embrace. When Taguchi’s arms came up around his back he leaned his head down onto Taguchi’s chest and exhaled a long breath. By this point he couldn’t tell who it was he was trying to soothe anymore, but with the strong arms around him he couldn’t care much about it, so he just relaxed and listened to the too fast beats from Taguchi’s chest.

He tried not to be surprised when Taguchi placed a kiss gently on his head, and then moved a little to place another kiss. He gently pushed Ueda back as the kisses continued down the side of his face and Ueda felt his own heart speeding up, breath now coming short and shallow. If he only turned his head just a little, he could meet Taguchi’s lips with his own, and with the way his body was heating up there was nothing he wanted more.

His head started to turn, even as his heat muddled brain cried out that it wasn’t right, that it was throwing away weeks of careful self control but then it was silent as their lips finally met in the tenderest of brushes. They both paused for what seemed forever, almost panting against each other’s lips as though to gauge each others reactions.

It was Taguchi that moved first, all at once he knotted his fingers into Ueda’s hair to hold their heads together as he pushed apart the full lips with his tongue, diving in to take in the familiar taste. Ueda responded with a low groan as he involuntarily pushed the other man back into the counter, hips slotting perfectly against his. They kissed feverishly, friction starting up between their bodies, sending sparks out over their skin.

Ueda turned his head reluctantly to the side, Taguchi’s kisses showering his cheek instead, moving down to his neck as their hips rocked together in time. “Junno...” he groaned again “Junno wait...where’s Maru?” he knew that Kame and Koki had left already, but he was vaguely aware that he was supposed to be meeting Maru in this very room.

“He’s shooting soon, they were just changing the lights” he managed through kisses to other man’s heated flesh. “He won’t be back for a while”.

Again everything in his head screamed at him that this was a bad idea, but the weeks of torturous restraint coupled with the raw edge of his current emotions drove all sense from his mind as he launched forward in another searing kiss while his hands scrambled to unfasten Taguchi’s trousers. Taguchi picked up on the direction he was going rather quickly and hurried to unfasten Ueda’s as well.

Ueda had to pull his mouth away as he pushed Taguchi’s trousers just low enough to gain access, and then he leant down enough to hook his hands around Taguchi’s knees, bringing them both up at once to wrap around his waist. Taguchi leaned back into the counter to take some of his weight off Ueda and then he tried to relax his body as Ueda’s fingers crept their way around to his sensitive hole.

Ueda leaned back in to kiss Taguchi as he teased the skin around Taguchi’s hole but not going near enough to touch it and Taguchi’s frustrated whine died on his tongue. However, he was aware of the short amount of time left to them so he didn’t linger with his teasing, and instead sucked two of his fingers into his mouth. Once coated with saliva he moved them back round, kissing Taguchi’s shoulder gently as he forced the first through the resisting muscle. Taguchi hissed in pain and threw his head back, but he moved his hips against the intruding finger all the same, trying to work himself open with it.

Far too soon the second finger was added, but aside from the audible gasp he made no more protest against it, knowing it was necessary. He wiggled his hips around a little, looking for a way to make it more comfortable, and then he found it immediately as Ueda bent his fingers forward and held them pressed against the small bump. Taguchi thrust his hips forward in quick succession, each time the pleasure shot through him with renewed intensity until all he could do was gasp towards the ceiling, eyes clenched shut.

As soon as Ueda relaxed his fingers he brought his head up. “Now, now please...Tatsuya please fuck me hard.” Ueda almost growled in arousal as he pulled his fingers from Taguchi’s body and spat unceremoniously into his hand, coating his throbbing erection as much as possible before positioning it at Taguchi’s entrance and pushing all the way in.

Taguchi couldn’t hold back the pained noise in his throat, and in response Ueda stopped, fully inside him, and leaned forward to kiss his lips gently. Taguchi tried his best to return the kiss as his body slowly adjusted, and then he pushed his hips up slowly causing Ueda to moan into his mouth.

“Are you ok?” Ueda whispered against his lips, and Taguchi nodded before pressing their lips together once more.

Ueda started thrusting up into his body, setting a fast, forceful rhythm as his mind clouded over with the heat of the pleasure. He tried as far as possible to keep his lips on Taguchi, kissing along his jaw line and neck once the thrusts were too erratic to aim for his lips. He could feel the hot breath escaping Taguchi’s lips in pants as it tickled past his ears, carrying with it soft, high-pitched whines. He ran his hands over the younger man’s chest, loving the way his back arched into the touch, but as he felt the pressure rising in his abdomen he moved the hand lower, brushing it gently over the underside of Taguchi’s cock. Taguchi let out a strangled moan and tried to buck harder into the hand as it curled loosely around the hot, hard flesh.

Taguchi struggled to push Ueda’s head up, fusing their mouths back together as he groaned loudly before whispering “Tatsuya, come with me”.

Ueda felt an intense jolt of arousal at the thought and dragged his head back to look into Taguchi’s face, flushed with heat and pleasure, his eyes half-lidded and dazed with his lips red and swollen, Ueda held off until he saw the lips move, mouthing the word “Now” before they both jerked against each other, crushing their bodies together as they clung desperately to each other through the waves of their passion.

Ueda began giggling even before his high had chance to leave him, he pulled out slowly and let Taguchi’s legs back to the floor, before collapsing against his chest still laughing in disbelief. “Holy shit.” He exclaimed.

Taguchi a little concerned pushed him back to look at his face “Tatsuya?”

Ueda looked shyly but happily up at him “I needed that...” and he laughed again, Taguchi joining him this time.

“Yeah, I needed it too” Taguchi smiled before pulling Ueda back to him, kissing him languidly through their afterglow.

Just as their breathing was returning to calm they heard voices moving closer, Maru’s harsh laugh rang out loudly so they pulled apart quickly, Taguchi mouthed the word shower and launched himself across the room into the small bathroom where he could clean off under the shower. Ueda pulled up his trousers quickly, scrubbing at a small white stain on the rim of his jeans, and fastening his jacket to hide the sticky marks covering the bottom half of his shirt. He’d just managed to throw himself onto the couch and appear amused with his phone when Maru walked in.


	2. May 16th 2012

Ueda hadn’t spoken to Taguchi since the inappropriate dressing room incident two days ago so when he arrived at work early and saw Taguchi already waiting he thought it seemed as good a time as any to discuss it.

“Hey Uepi” Taguchi beamed, looking up only briefly from his DS game.

“Nobody else here yet?” Ueda checked as he put his bag down. Taguchi just shook his head. “Then would it be ok if we talked for a minute?” Taguchi sensed the serious tone and put down his DS, he moved from his seat by the mirror to the sofa where Ueda sat.

“About the other day right?” Taguchi asked cautiously and Ueda nodded “I don’t regret it...”

“I don’t either” Ueda replied a little confused.

“Really?” Taguchi’s face lit up a little, “Sorry, it just seemed like this was going to be one of those ‘I had fun but we can’t do it again’ conversations”

“If I had any sense it would be” Ueda retorted, frowning. “But since your idiocy seems to be catching...what I was thinking...was that I didn’t want us to stop...”

“I don’t want us to stop either...” the other man sounded hopeful.

“We’re both adults...and we managed to keep our heads while we were doing it during the tour...”

“Exactly...nobody else found out...so we did something right...” Taguchi urged him on.

“In fact, the only time we even risked being caught was after we decided to stop...”

“I know right...but if we just accepted that we wanted it, we could have been thoroughly fucked and tension free...”

“Then we wouldn’t need to go losing control like that in inappropriate places...”

“Exactly...and I don’t know about you, but I felt like there was far more sexual tension between us when we weren’t doing it...if anyone’s going to notice anything, surely it’d be that...”

“Yeah, you’re right...”

“And besides” Taguchi pushed “There was so much more stuff we hadn’t even done...stuff we said we would do...”

Ueda’s eyes lit up “Yeah, like the tingly lube...” Taguchi nodded enthusiastically.

“And you do owe me a blowjob...”

Ueda’s face straightened suddenly “Wait...what? Since when?”

Taguchi’s face fell too “Since before...you know...I’d eaten something bad and you came over...I suc...”

“Yeah I remember that” Ueda interjected “but I never said I’d give you a blowjob...”

“You didn’t?” Taguchi asked now confused with himself.

“I said I could have done something...something doesn’t have to mean blowjob...”

Taguchi tried on his best puppy dog eyes “But...maybe it could though...right?”

“What? No...that’s...no, I don’t want to...”

“But Taaaatsuyaaaa...” Taguchi continued “Your mouth is so sexy...I want so badly to see how your lips look stretched around...” but he was cut off by the distant sound of the elevator pinging, he quickly moved back to his original seat “thank fuck they didn’t take the stairs...” Ueda just laughed.

“What’s so funny?” a disgruntled Koki asked, closing the door behind him.

“Just Taguchi being an idiot...” Ueda answered, but he shot Taguchi a knowing look...and then a few minutes later a glare as he received a mail from the younger man ‘You should come over tonight to try the lube...I can hold out a little longer for the blowjob’.

Still, just over twelve hours later Ueda found himself laying sated in the other man’s bed. After a long day at work who could refuse such an offer? He was only a man after all.

“So what did you think?” Taguchi asked, breath still shallow as he wiped the traces of their passion from his body with a handful of tissues.

“Of the sex or the lube?” Ueda answered coyly.

“Both” Taguchi murmured as he rolled to the side, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. Ueda shook his arm a little to try and dislodge it.

“Hey, I said no snuggling right?”

“This doesn’t count as snuggling...this is...resting.”

“Well rest on your own side of the bed” Ueda retorted and Taguchi finally rolled away.

“Tatsuuuuya, you’re so mean...” he whined, but with no conviction, he also decided not to push his luck by pointing out that technically the whole bed was his, he could sense another one of Ueda’s serious moods starting.

“I mean it Junno, if we’re going to do this we need to have boundaries...”

Taguchi suppressed a sigh “I get it...you can call the shots right? I’m used to being the uke.”

Ueda rolled his eyes, he could see where this was going “Good, because that’s the way it is, alright?”

The younger man couldn’t help laughing this time “So stubborn...are you afraid you might like it?”

Ueda frowned “No, I’m just not into that...I’m starting to think BDSM could be fun though, I’d love nothing more than to gag you sometimes.” Taguchi laughed loudly until Ueda hit him with a pillow “You’re so noisy”

Taguchi tried on his seductive look again “You weren’t complaining about that half an hour ago” and he delighted in the slight flush Ueda’s skin took as he tried his hardest not to smile. “If you’re serious though...I’d be happy to try out some kinks...”

Ueda’s eyes widened in surprise “Slow down tiger, I think we’ve still got a long way to go before I feel comfortable talking to you about my fetishes.”

“Well now you’ve got me intrigued...” Taguchi rolled closer to start kissing his way along Ueda’s shoulder, making the other man squirm. “I wonder if you’re into anything weird” he said with delight.

“Not as weird as you with your muscle fetish” he said, trying to push the other away.

“That’s not very weird...and I didn’t even know about that until you came along” he insisted as his lips made their way down to said muscles. Ueda squirmed more, making the muscles more prominent and Taguchi groaned softly as his tongue slid out to taste the salty tang of Ueda’s sweat as it dried on his body.

Ueda groaned and Taguchi saw it as an approval as he pushed himself up to straddle to other man’s body, licking and nibbling more intently at the hard flesh of his abs, avoiding the remnants of his own release only a short while ago.

“Junno, don’t...” Ueda groaned and Taguchi could feel the beginnings of the older man’s arousal growing hard into his collarbone. He moved a little further up, kissing along Ueda’s chest and then finally closing his mouth over a sensitive nipple.

Ueda’s whole body jerked and he cried out, but his hand moved quickly to push Taguchi away. He looked up incredulously at the other man “What do you think you’re doing?”

Taguchi pouted as he sat back “Seducing you?”

“Junno...we just finished having sex ten minutes ago...” he pointed out in shock.

“Yeah but...now you’ve got me all worked up again...and I’m still all tingly from the lube and it feels nice...”

Ueda was at a loss for words “ten minutes...I can’t...Junno I need more than ten minutes...”

“Really it’s closer to fifteen...” Ueda couldn’t help but laugh.

“Give me an hour alright? We’ll get showered and have something to eat...then we can see...”


	3. May 30th 2012

Ueda found out over the previous weeks that Taguchi certainly was insatiable. It seemed to him there was no time or place or circumstance in which the younger man wasn’t ‘up for it’, regardless of how often they met. Somehow it gave Ueda a rush to know that the other man was so turned on by him, to the point where he would be a little too sadistic, putting effort into arousing the other man when they both knew there was no chance for him to alleviate his desires.

Other times he didn’t even have to try, he would randomly glance at his bandmate and be surprised to find that hungry, almost predatory look in his eyes, yet he could think of nothing he’d done to evoke it. Thankfully, Taguchi was a good actor and Ueda was sure that nobody would notice those looks unless they were paying particular attention to the two of them...even Kame didn’t seem to notice there was anything between them still.

As it turned out even Ueda missed those signals sometimes, so when Taguchi offered to stay behind and help him with the choreography for their new single, he thought nothing of it. He was the worst at learning new dances, and Taguchi was the best, it made perfect sense.

“Come on Uepi, you really do need to know these moves...” Taguchi muttered, only slightly concerned for the older man.

“I know...I’m just tired...it’s physically and mentally draining” He flopped down onto the ground again, he was sweating as much as he did during his boxing training. He glared at Taguchi, despite being stuck in this tiny little rehearsal room for four hours already, the younger man seemed his usual energetic self.

Taguchi looked back with something akin to pity on his face. He wandered over and crouched down facing Ueda. “One more run through ok? And then I’ll take you back to my place and help get rid of all that tension...” he smirked coyly.

Ueda laughed “Seriously? I can’t even stand, you think I have the energy to...” but he paused, they were still in the Jimusho building after all.

“It’ll be fun...” Taguchi pouted

Ueda laughed again “I don’t doubt that...but I’m seriously too tired...spend some time with your tingly friend tonight ok?”

Taguchi glanced at the door quickly then leaned in closer “Come on Tatsuya, I’ll make it worth your while...” he could see another protest forming on the older man’s lips “You won’t even have to do anything, I promise...you can just relax and I’ll ride you...”

Ueda jaw dropped a little, they hadn’t exactly played around with positions much, but this one he was definitely intrigued by, if the tingle somewhere just a little below his waist was anything to go by at least. Taguchi could see the hesitation and knew he’d almost won.

“I’ll even cook for you when we’re done...” Ueda’s mouth twitched up into a half smile, he’d grown quite accustomed to the younger man cooking for him, it was never anything complicated, but it tasted good and there was always plenty of it. Taguchi beamed “Just one more run through...”

Ueda glared a little, but it seemed fair, and so twenty minutes later he was sat, freshly showered and almost comfortable, in the passenger seat of Taguchi’s mini.

“Must we really listen to Perfume this loud the whole way...” he grumbled, though admittedly it was probably the only thing keeping him awake at that moment.

“It’s my car...I like Perfume” the other replied distractedly, he was busy dancing along to the track playing.

“And you’ll drop me off back at the Jimusho when we’re finished eating right?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.” But he was still barely paying attention.

As soon as the door to Taguchi’s apartment closed Taguchi changed completely, that stupid dorky grin transforming into a predatory smirk, that devious glint had returned to his eyes. He trailed kisses down Ueda neck as he whispered seductively “So where do you want me?”

Ueda’s mind was taking a little while to catch up “Where?”

Taguchi chuckled a little “I’m going to go with sofa...you’ll probably fall asleep if I let you lay down on the bed...” Ueda nodded a little in agreement, and Taguchi began undressing them both slowly as he shuffled their bodies towards the sofa.

Ueda felt himself pushed back suddenly and he grunted as he hit the sofa, he expected Taguchi to climb straight onto him and ravish him, but as the younger man dropped ti his knees infront of the sofa, he noticed with some embarrassment that he wasn’t even hard. Taguchi didn’t seem phased by it and simply leaned forwards, trailing his tongue along Ueda’s thigh, before slipping the soft flesh into his mouth. For a few moments he just held it there, sucking gently, but as he felt the flesh begin to harden in his mouth, he slid back to allow for the extra growth before moving back down to take in as much of it as he could. He bobbed his head just a few times, then withdrew to slide his tongue across the head. He glanced up to Ueda’s face to see the other man watching in a mixture of arousal and interest. He held his gaze as he slid all the way back down, but then the older man’s eyes closed, breaking the contact as his head fell back and his hand came up to tangle itself in Taguchi’s hair.

For a few minutes, he allowed the hand in his hair to guide him, but then he pulled away and stood up, he had other plans after all. He wandered over to his bag to retrieve the lube he had stashed there and then moved back to finally kneel on the sofa, straddling Ueda.

“Do you want to do it? Or should I?” the younger man asked, holding up the small tube.

“You do it.” The older man smiled a little embarrassed “I want to watch.”

Taguchi beamed at the thought then sat up a little, he leaned on Ueda’s shoulder with one hand, while he lifted one leg and planted his foot against the sofa to give himself better access. He then applied a little lube to his fingers and pushed them back between his own legs, as Ueda watched, almost hungrily. He was a little nervous, he’d tried putting his fingers inside himself a few times, but other than enjoying the feeling of having something inside him, he didn’t really know what else to do with it, and he’d certainly never done it for an audience before.

He slipped one finger in carefully, pushing it slowly in and out of himself a few times, then he bit into his lip as he slowly forced the second in alongside it. He felt Ueda’s hand rubbing soothingly along his leg.

“Don’t hurt yourself, take as long as you need...” Taguchi nodded, looking down into Ueda’s face, filled with concern, but then he leaned down and kissed the older man gently as he worked his fingers into himself. Ueda’s tongue pushed insistently at his lips, so he parted them slightly, allowing the muscle to lick teasingly into his mouth. He couldn’t help the low groan in his throat and he pushed harder with his fingers, pulling them out quickly to thrust them back in again.

Soon he stilled as an odd sensation came over him, his fingers pushed deep inside himself, and another, which could only belong to Ueda, circling slowly around the place where they entered him. He shuddered, suddenly needing more as he pushed back against Ueda’s finger, moaning when he felt more than heard Ueda’s breath hitch against his lips, moaning louder as he felt the finger slip inside him, beside his own. He inhaled sharply and tried with all of his might not to thrust his hips back against the intruding digits, instead he held still, feeling with clarity the way that third finger explored the soft walls inside him, rubbing against his own fingers.

The angle was a nuisance, no matter how hard he tried, Ueda couldn’t seem to find what he was looking for and Taguchi was beginning to lose his mind with desire. “Please, don’t tease me, I need it now.” He whined against the other man’s lips, and Ueda pulled out his finger, Taguchi’s following.

Once he’d relocated the lube, Taguchi spread an ample amount along Ueda’s cock and raised himself up again to slide down onto it slowly. Ueda groaned, but Taguchi didn’t speed up, somehow he felt more vulnerable in this position, he felt more stretched, more open and he loved it. When he was finally all the way down, he sat for a few minutes, panting gently but then reached over for some tissues for them to wipe their hands, before sitting still atop the other man once again.

He could see the way it tortured Ueda, and feel the effects of it as the hard cock inside him twitched uncontrollably. Ueda’s hands snaked their way to his hips, pulling just a little to slide Taguchi forward on his lap as he pushed his own hips up, lodging himself deeper inside. Taguchi groaned, he’d never been good at teasing, he was too impatient himself, and so he inhaled deeply before pushing himself up slowly and falling back down hard onto the others lap. They moaned in unison and Taguchi repeated the action, it felt too rough and just right at the same time and he repeated it again, and again, faster and harder.

When his legs began to tire, he slumped forward against Ueda who was leaning back against the sofa, head thrown back and back arched towards him, panting in pleasure. He stilled for a few moments to catch his breath and then pushed his legs further apart, sinking right down into Ueda’s lap groaning with how deep the pleasure sunk inside him. Ueda raised his head looking concerned.

“Are you ok?” he whispered gently, lips seeking out Taguchi’s who nodded softly before turning his head for their lips to meet. It was a slow kiss, something soothing and warm but electrifying when their tongues finally slid together. Taguchi allowed the older man to dominate the kiss as it drove faster, the foreign muscle inside his mouth straining to taste each inch of his own. Ueda hands gripped tightly onto the flesh at his hips, clawing at his sides and back in an effort to express his want, and Taguchi finally moved into action, bucking his hips forward. Ueda groaned loudly against his lips, then slumped back, taking the younger man with him, still thrusting his hips as fast as he could.

Every lewd moan from Ueda’s lips drove Taguchi’s mind into a frenzy, mentally he was at the edge of his peak, if only he could find his body’s release to take him over.

“Oh fuck” Ueda moaned only a few minutes later “Junno I’m so close.”

Taguchi slowed “Hold on baby, I’m almost there...wait for me.” Ueda gasped but nodded against the side of his face. And then Taguchi pushed himself back, leaning back on his hands placed on Ueda’s knees, bucking his hips up. The renewed angle hit him right where he needed it and he cried out, pushing his hips faster, hitting his prostate perfectly.

“I can’t” Ueda almost cried, moans short and high pitched “Junno please...I’m coming” and his hips jerked up, hitting Taguchi just right, hard enough to push him over as he cried out again, his release raining down over both their bodies.

Taguchi was a man of his word, and so as soon as his high left him, he stood, legs shaky, and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. He returned in his fluffy bathrobe, wide smile on his face.

“You can go shower now” he coaxed an almost sleeping Ueda “I’ll make stirfry”. Ueda hummed happily and Taguchi helped him from the sofa before setting about making food. 

Once they had finished eating they sat back to finish watching the tv show that was on, but when it finished Taguchi looked over to find Ueda already sleeping peacefully. He smiled lightly before getting up and carrying the smaller man to his room. Once tucked cozily in bed he set his phone alarm for morning and drifted happily to sleep, head ‘just resting’ on the other man’s shoulder.


	4. May 31st 2012

He’d had a peaceful night’s sleep, waking up bright and refreshed a whole two hours before his alarm. He wondered briefly whether it was the mind-shattering sex he’d had last night, or just the presence of the other man, cuddling into him as he slept. He spared a glance at said bandmate who was still sleeping soundly, rehearsals really must have worn him out. Something about the relaxed, gentle expression had Taguchi’s chest feeling tight and he resisted the urge to softly kiss his forehead, choosing to get up and shower instead.

Ueda’s eyes were just opening sleepily as he re-entered the room.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” Taguchi pouted, but Ueda just shook his head as his eyes opened fully and he glanced around to take in his surroundings. “You fell asleep last night...I didn’t think if I woke you, you’d be in any fit state to drive, so I thought it best to let you sleep.”

“Thanks” Ueda said softly, despite the slight gruffness in his morning voice. And then he smiled, patting the bed beside him. Taguchi beamed and walked back to the bed, dropping his towel to the floor before climbing in. “Thank you for last night too...I liked it like that”

“Me too” the younger man smiled “we should experiment with more stuff...”

Ueda nodded, cheeks flushing a little “Actually, there was something...I thought maybe I could try...after all” Taguchi’s face lit up excitedly but Ueda felt too shy about it to voice it out loud, instead he pushed himself to his hands and knees and started slowly kissing his way down Taguchi’s chest. He moved the covers away, surprised to see Taguchi already half hard and then swung his legs over Taguchi’s, to effectively kneel between them.

Taguchi groaned in anticipation once he caught on and his cock hardened completely, throbbing as Ueda placed shy kisses around his thighs and hips. Eventually Ueda reached out a hand to wrap it around the base of Taguchi’s cock before leaning in to place a kiss halfway up it. He shuffled forward a little more on his knees and angled Taguchi’s arousal up, kissing his way infuriatingly slowly to the tip, before flicking his tongue out a little to taste it. Taguchi groaned, throwing his head to the side and fisting his fingers around the bed sheets to prevent his hips moving.

Ueda licked gently a few more times then looked up “Junno” Taguchi opened his eyes and looked down at the almost innocent expression “Don’t come in my mouth ok?”

Taguchi nodded, and then groaned as he watched Ueda’s plump lips close over the head of his cock. He moved his hand to the side of Ueda’s head, silently encouraging him as the older man moved his mouth a little way down the hard flesh before pulling back up slowly. He glanced up then, and their eyes met, causing Taguchi to whine, high-pitched and needy as he threw his head to the side again, the sight almost too much for him.

As Ueda gained confidence he began moving faster, bringing his tongue into play each time he lifted his head to the tip of Taguchi’s cock and soon he had Taguchi thrashing beneath him. Before long Ueda raised one of his hands, sucking one of his fingers into his mouth alongside the cock, twirling his tongue around it thoroughly before releasing it and sliding it slowly down.

Taguchi gasped as it entered him, then groaned as it slid further inside, the mouth on his cock sliding all the way down him in time with it. He felt lost, his mind scattered somewhere blissfully along the path between the sensation at his front and the one coming from behind. He shouted out, though he didn’t know nor couldn’t care what it was as the finger withdrew a little before pushing up hard, he thought maybe he screamed.

His hips jerked uncontrollably, pushing up into the wet heat of Ueda’s mouth that seemed too far down him and all around him. He forced his eyes open and almost lost control as he saw his own hips thrusting hard, pushing deep into Ueda’s mouth, too deep to even still be his mouth.

He tried to pant out a warning, to tell the other he was falling but when the finger inside him curled once more he could do nothing but cry out again as he hurtled toward the bright white in his eyes, releasing his passion deep into the other man’s throat.

As soon as his lucidity returned, it hit him. He scrambled back to a sitting position, frantically trying to decipher the almost blank expression on Ueda’s face.

“Tatsuya, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to...” but he was cut off as Ueda raised his head to look into his eyes. He paused for what seemed like an eternity.

“Well I guess technically it wasn’t my mouth...some warning would have been nice though, you almost choked me!” but there was a slight smile playing around his lips and Taguchi breathed a sigh of relief before launching himself at the other man, showering his face and neck in kisses.

“Tatsuya that was incredible, I can’t believe that was your first try...you were deep-throating me and everything.

Ueda tried to play down the pleased smile on his face “Yeah well it’s not like I had much choice the way you were pushing your hips up like that!”

Taguchi beamed again “You were amazing! And I really am sorry, I tried to warn you, just it felt so good I couldn’t get the words out”

Ueda blushed “It wasn’t so bad...”

They were both suddenly startled by Taguchi’s phone ringing. He picked it up from the nightstand “It’s Kazuya...” he gave Ueda a wary glance and then pressed answer. “Moshi moshi”

“Taguchi...do you know where Tacchan is?”

Taguchi bit his lip worried “No...did you try calling him?” Ueda shot silently from the bed to retrieve his phone from where it had been left last night.

“I tried...I’m getting worried Taguchi...I got to the Jimusho early and his car was here, I thought maybe he came in early but I couldn’t find him anywhere...and Yamada-san said she’s been at the front desk all morning and she hasn’t seen him. You left with him last night, right? Did you see him drive away?”

Taguchi paused trying to think of what to say, he’d never been good at lying on the spot like this. “Ano...not exactly...” he mentally cursed himself, there was any number of stories he could make up about Ueda’s car not working or running out of gas or something...if only he hadn’t said he didn’t know where he was...or thought too much about his answer, anything would look suspicious now after this hesitation. “Maybe there was a problem with his car or something and he took a taxi home?”

“I guess” Kame seemed a little relieved “But then why isn’t he picking up his phone?”

“You know Uepi, it’s still early, he’s probably asleep...or if not maybe he went for a run?”

“Yeah, you’re right...” he could hear the smile back in Kame’s voice. “I’ll head over to his place anyway, it’s not like I can do anything here on my own.”

“No! Don’t!” Taguchi shouted a little hastily. “I mean...I’m sure he’ll be alright” he was beginning to panic a little, Ueda’s apartment was on the other side of the Jimusho to his, there was no way to beat Kame there, and the jeans and shirt Ueda had with him didn’t exactly scream ‘I was just out for a morning run’.

“It’d make me feel better to know he’s ok though...besides, if his car isn’t working he’s going to need a lift to work right? No point getting a taxi if I’m already there.”

This time he had no answer “Kazu don’t...don’t go over there...he’s not there”

“What?”

“He’s here” he reluctantly admitted “He spent the night here with me.” Taguchi could almost hear the shock and rage emitting through the phone line, but Kame didn’t say anything, he just hung up the phone.

“Baka, what did you say that for? I could have just called him back and said I was as my sisters or something!” Ueda reprimanded.

“Yeah great idea until he offers to come pick you up...”

“Whatever...it’s done now...I guess we should get ready and go face the music before Maru and Koki get there”

Taguchi pouted “But you didn’t get any fun...”

“Assuming we survive the morning...you can owe me.” Taguchi’s face lit up “You make breakfast, I’ll shower”

Less than an hour later they were both fed and ready, they got into the car. “We’ll have to call back at my place first, I need to feed the dogs and change.” Taguchi nodded and set off to Ueda’s.

When they arrived Ueda headed straight for the kitchen, grimacing as he opened the door, knowing there would likely be a mess waiting for him. “Hey guys” he greeted the dogs as they bounced up at him before moving on to attack Taguchi with kisses. “I’m sorry I didn’t come back last night, Taguchi will take you for a nice long walk while I get cleaned up though, and then you can have some food when you get back.”

“I’m walking them?” Taguchi looked startled “I can’t handle six excited dogs all at once!”

Ueda smirked “Leads are in the cupboard by the door, don’t lose any...” Taguchi’s face was white as he headed to said cupboard and struggled to put on all six leads “Hey Junno...they know how to sit you know” he added once Taguchi had finished struggling. “Here, you’ll need bags and biscuits...just take them along to the park but don’t let them off the lead unless the park is really quiet.”

Yeah right, Taguchi thought as he struggled to stay standing as the dogs pulled him along the hallway, like he would dare let any of them out of his grasp for a second. Somehow he managed to get them to the park safely, and their energy had calmed to a somewhat manageable level. “All right guys, come here” he waggled the small bag of biscuits “You guys have got to be good ok, Tatsuya loves you very much and if I screw this up he’s not going to trust me to take care of you guys again...” he smiled despite himself “and I kind of like that he’s trusting me this much ok?” He gave each of the dogs a biscuit in turn. “Alright, come on then, we’ll do a few laps round and then head back.

“You survived then?” Ueda laughed as he let himself back into Ueda’s apartment. The older man was changed and just fixing his hair with some gel, but something about him looked incredibly beautiful. Taguchi dropped the leads unceremoniously to the floor and launched himself at Ueda, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist to pull him in close and locking their lips together.

Ueda laughed a little breathlessly as he pushed the taller man away “Eww, wash your hands first” so Taguchi dragged himself away, moving to the sink to wash his hands while Ueda went to take off the dog leashes and then get their food prepared.

“You know...maybe it’d be easier, with the dogs and everything...if we...hung out...here sometimes...” Taguchi said tentatively, but the startled look on Ueda’s face made him nervous.

“I don’t know...it’d be...I mean, your place is much cleaner and the dogs are always around here...as long as I call in to feed them and take them out they won’t mind so much...”

“Sure...if that’s what you...you know” Taguchi replied, a little embarrassed.

Ueda moved to wash his hands again “Yeah...just you know...I think your place is better...” Taguchi nodded, “We should go anyway...Kame will be pissed...” Taguchi nodded again and they headed back outside. He hadn’t meant anything by it, when he’d suggested they meet at Ueda’s place, but the other man’s reaction had thrown him a little. Sure his place was a bit messy but he’d never really minded that before...and the dogs were kind of the whole reason it’d be better to stay at Ueda’s. So why didn’t the older man want him there? Would it make their...was it even a relationship...more real somehow? He couldn’t deny that since Ueda had been frequenting his apartment there were signs of his presence even after he left. The toothbrush that he left in the pot beside his own all the time now, the subtle smell of him on the sheets, the memories of the things they had done together in almost every room...he shook the thoughts from his head. He shouldn’t be thinking like that now, right now they had a bigger problem, and it was waiting for them, probably very angrily, at the Jimusho.


	5. May 31st 2012

When they entered the dressing room, Kame was sat there alone, cup of coffee in his hand and seemingly busy with his phone.

“Morning” Taguchi tried tentatively. But all he received was a cold glare from Kame. “Kazu, I’m sorry for lying to you like that...”

“I was really worried about you” Kame almost spat in Ueda’s direction.

“I know, I’m sorry for worrying you, I didn’t mean to stay there...”

“But I’m sure you meant to GO there” Ueda didn’t know how to answer, he could see Kame practically shaking with rage.

“Yes, I did...if you hadn’t figured it out already, we’re still sleeping together...” Taguchi could see that the older man was getting angry himself, he took a few steps closer to Ueda, gently touching his arm. He opened his mouth to speak but was startled by Kame dropping his phone back to the table with a clatter as he stood.

“You said it was over!” he shouted angrily.

“It was!” Ueda shouted back as forcefully, Taguchi didn’t like where this was headed, none of them had gotten this angry with each other in years. Kame suddenly stormed across the room, grabbing Ueda by the collar and pushing him against the wall.

“Then what the fuck are you doing screwing around now?!”

Ueda tried to push himself away from the wall, but Kame had his full body pressed into him. “I don’t see why it’s any of your business.”

Kame slammed the older man harder into the wall “That’s cos you never fucking listen, you’re a spoiled, stubborn little brat and you don’t give a shit about this group, I was right all those years ago.” Ueda’s eyes narrowed and Kame smirked, knowing he’d gotten through.

“You’re one to talk...Mr. gets all the lead roles on TV and his cock sucked by pro-baseball players while his backing dancers are busy rearranging their schedules to fit his.”

Kame’s face dropped into a glare “So that’s what you think of me?”

Ueda looked smug “You want to know what I think of you?” with a sudden rush he pushed Kame back off him and swung for Kame’s jaw. “How dare you tell me what I can and can’t do in my personal time?”

“Tatsuya!” Taguchi gasped, rushing to grab Ueda’s arm before he could swing it at Kame again “Stop it, what are you doing?”

“I’ve had enough of it Junno...what gives him the right to tell us we can’t see each other? It’s none of his fucking business he just wants to control us like he tries to control the group.”

“I’m not trying to control you!” Kame almost screamed pushing Taguchi out of the way “I’m trying to look out for you because you’re too fucking selfish to look out for yourself, or the rest of us.”

“Right...you’re doing this because you care about us?”

“I am! You don’t even know...”

“Then stop being so fucking high-and-mighty and enlighten us all then...why are you so fucking omniscient that you know we’ll screw this up!”

Taguchi could tell Kame was getting to the end of his fuse. “Why don’t we all just calm down ok? We can sit and talk about this like adults...”

“We can talk about it like adults when you two start fucking acting like adults...instead of horny fucking teenagers.”

Ueda tried to launch himself forward again but Taguchi stepped in front of him “Tatsuya, don’t” he begged, then he heard an almost guttural roar from behind him and he turned just in time to see Kame’s fist making its way to his face. He was knocked to the side on impact and couldn’t react quickly enough to stop Ueda flying back at Kame in retaliation. They were both knocked to the floor, rolling around and brawling like high-schoolers, but Taguchi couldn’t find an opening to pull them apart. Luckily, Koki stepped through the door only a few minutes later.

“What the fuck is going on?” Koki roared as he flung Ueda off of Kame. There was silence apart from the panting from the two fighting men. Then Kame struggled to his feet wiping his bleeding lip on the back of his hand, he glared once around the room and then walked over to grab his bag and phone. He headed to the door but not before pointing his finger sharply at Ueda as the other man struggled to get up too.

“Fuck you Ueda” and then he crossed the rest of the room, opening the door.

“Kame-chan, where are you going?” Koki shouted after him.

“I’m taking a day off” he spat back, slamming the door behind him. Koki glanced at the others nervously before taking off out the room after Kame.

“Are you alright?” Taguchi asked, voice thick as he wrapped his arms around Ueda.

Ueda nodded into his chest “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” the older man looked up concerned.

“I’m fine” Taguchi assured him, leaning down to kiss him gently, his lip was swollen too and there was a bloody tang as he slid his tongue into the older man’s mouth. It was something short as he knew Koki could come back any minute and he withdrew his arms as they pulled apart. “You shouldn’t have fought with him like that.”

“I know...I just can’t stand his attitude towards us...if he cares that much about the band then he should be looking out for us instead of trying to make things harder on us!”

Taguchi nodded “But in his own way he thinks he is doing the right thing for us...he just doesn’t understand” Ueda nodded in reply before collapsing down onto the sofa sighing.

After a few minutes of silence Koki re-entered the room with Maru. “Did you catch him?” Taguchi asked.

Koki nodded “He said he just needs some time alone but he’ll be back tomorrow...now does someone want to tell me what the fuck that was about?”

Taguchi returned to his apartment alone that night, they’d managed to throw off Koki’s questioning without giving him a proper answer, but Ueda had thought maybe they should back off a bit for the time being anyway, at least until they knew where they stood with Kame. However just as he was stepping out of the shower he heard his phone ringing.

“What took you so long?” Ueda reprimanded before he even had chance to say hello.

“I was in the shower...”

“Good, I don’t want you stinking up my apartment...”

“What?” Taguchi asked, confused.

“My head and ribs are hurting...you need to bring me some painkillers and some food...”

“What?” Taguchi asked again, surprised but with a healthy dose of pleased.

“Hurry up, I’m hungry...” and the other man hung up.

Smiling Taguchi collected his wallet, keys and phone and then dashed from the house, stopping off for painkillers and then fast food on the way. Ueda let him in once he pressed the buzzer at the door of the apartment block, but the door to the apartment was unlocked so he let himself in, he found Ueda laying dramatically on the sofa, ice pack over his head and ribs.

“Painkillers...now” he groaned and so Taguchi fetched him a glass of water and passed him the painkillers. “You need to feed and walk the dogs too, then you can reheat our takeaway.” He added as he lay back down, icepacks back in place.

“Dramaqueen” Taguchi muttered under his breath as he went to fetch the dog leads.

“Hey” Ueda snapped “I got these injuries sticking up for you...and take the spare key again so I don’t have to let you in” Taguchi just rolled his eyes and then called the dogs. When he returned from the park he fed them under Ueda’s instruction before re-heating their own food and bringing it to the coffee table.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked as Ueda dragged himself up to a sitting position.

“Just sleepy...and hungry” Taguchi laughed and pushed his plate closer to him. He was quite for a few moments then he looked up at Taguchi’s face, as he softly said “Thank you Junno”, something about the genuine expression causing Taguchi’s chest to feel a little tight.

He laughed it off “Yeah, well if I’m ever ill, you owe me ok?”

Ueda was back to his usual self almost immediately “Hhmm, we’ll see.”

After they had finished eating, Taguchi went to wash the pots and tidy the kitchen a little. When he returned to the living room, Ueda was laying back down on the sofa, he held his hand out to Taguchi and so he sat down beside the older man, before being unceremoniously tugged down to lay on top of him.

“What’s gotten into you?” he asked coyly as Ueda kissed his neck and jawline.

Ueda chuckled a little, finding his mouth and pressing their lips together, before deepening the kiss. Taguchi shuffled his weight around a little as Ueda slipped his legs either side of his own and when he pressed down he could feel the hard mass pressing into him where his own arousal was pooling. “I said we maybe shouldn’t sleep together for a while...” he said as he began thrusting up gently, “this doesn’t count.”

Taguchi moaned and mirrored the action, pushing down hard as he ground his hips gently into Ueda’s. The pace was infuriatingly slow, but somehow it felt just right at that point in time, so he kept it steady, swallowing Ueda’s breathy moans for an immeasurable amount of time, until Ueda finally broke away from the long kiss, hissing as his body jerked. Taguchi shifted his hips again just slightly so that he wasn’t pressing into Ueda’s sensitive flesh and then he picked up the rhythm again until he finally tipped over himself, groaning quietly as he gripped the sofa cushions hard, waves of pleasure washing over him. He relaxed, panting, onto Ueda’s chest and lay there even when his breathing had returned to normal, and Ueda was snoring softly into his hair.


	6. June 1st 2012

When Ueda woke that morning it was to a delicious smell...and a wet tickly sensation on his feet. “Junno, stop it” he groaned groggily. But as his eyes opened he realized the tickly sensation at least, wasn’t his bandmate. “Morning Tiko” he said as he pushed himself up, but then he groaned at the uncomfortable sticky feeling in his trousers. He pushed himself the rest of the way up and walked across the living room towards the bathroom but he stopped suddenly as he spotted Taguchi in his kitchen.

“Good morning honey” the younger man smiled stupidly.

“It won’t be if you call me that again” Ueda threatened. “And are those my pyjamas?” judging by the length, there was no chance they were Taguchi’s.

“Un” he nodded happily “My clothes got a bit messy last night” and then his face turned into a thoughtful pout “I didn’t think you would mind...” Ueda rolled his eyes, and then walked away to the bathroom, he couldn’t exactly complain since it was, technically, his idea last night. “Don’t be long, breakfast is almost ready.”

Ten minutes later he was sitting clean and comfortable at his small coffee table, a delicious looking breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast sat in front of him.

“I wonder if Kame will really be back today...” he thought aloud.

“I think so...it’s not like him to take off from work like that...it had me pretty worried”

“Maybe I should try talking to him again...”

“Maybe we both should...” Ueda shrugged and continued eating.

Taguchi left shortly after breakfast so he could change at home, admittedly, the sight of him showing up to work in Ueda’s pyjamas was hilarious, but it would have raised quite a lot of suspicion. Ueda set about feeding and walking the dogs, taking the opportunity to think over what he should say to Kame.

“I’m not defending what we have because I need it or anything” he mused out loud to his dogs “it’s not like it’s a proper relationship or anything, it’s just fun and convenient...and completely harmless, so what is his big fucking problem?” He stopped to kick at some rocks for a minute “He just pisses me off you know?” He continued as he started walking again “it’s nothing to do with him, but he’s making out like it’s some kind of personal attack on him...it’s not even affecting the group! Well, when he keeps his bumpy nose out it’s not...Koki and Maru wouldn’t even know there was anything going on if he hadn’t started acting up...” he stopped and turned to face his dogs “well at least you guys are alright with it...it’s kind of nice having him around isn’t it? Feeding us all...making sure we get plenty of exercise...” he couldn’t help breaking into a silly smile. “And he’s a sweet guy, even if he is a bit dumb and annoying” he caught himself “but don’t you guys dare tell him I said that!” He laughed aloud then “Look at me...his stupidity is rubbing off on me...come on, let’s go for a run.”

He arrived at the Jimusho on time, but there was no sign of Kame, not until half an hour of stony silence had passed. Eventually he opened the door and stepped in, face a little heavily made up and his lip still swollen. “Ueda...can we talk?” Ueda just nodded and stood to follow him out of the room “Alone” he added when Taguchi stood up.

Kame led him out to the roof in silence and then they sat down together on one of the few benches out there. “First off, I want an apology for this” he said icily, pointed to his face.

Ueda nodded, he knew he had definitely been in the wrong there. “I’m sorry for hitting you Kame, we were both a little too worked up and I’m sorry that things got physical...” he looked down ashamed “I thought we were both past that”. When he glanced up, Kame’s face had softened and he was almost smiling.

“Yeah me too...thank you for apologizing though...I’m sorry I pushed you like that” Ueda nodded.

“I guess that’s the easy part over?” Ueda said after a small silence.

“Tacchan...I’ve been thinking a lot...what you said yesterday about me trying to control you, I really didn’t mean to come across like that, I just think that you’re making a huge mistake and it’s hurting me to watch...”

“It’s not your problem Kame” Ueda cut in.

“I know, please let me finish ok?” he paused while Ueda composed himself and then nodded. “I didn’t mean to come across like that, but I guess I understand how you might have gotten that impression...so I’m sorry for that...I don’t want us to fight about it anymore, so...” he could sense Ueda was about to butt in again “just wait, please...so I’m not going to try and tell you what to do...and I’m not going to get in your way and cause problems, ok? But I’m going to ask you, as your friend, as Taguchi’s friend, to think about what you’re doing.”

“We know what we’re doing...” Ueda cut in again impatiently.

“I don’t think you do...Please, just think about it seriously ok? What is your relationship? What was it when this started? Has it changed? Could it change? If you keep doing this...what will it be in a year’s time? What will it be if you stop? Whether it changes for better or for worse, can you pretend like nothing’s changed? For the sake of your career? For mine? For Koki’s and Yucchi’s? And is it worth it if you can’t?”

Ueda was dumbstruck...he thought he knew all of the answers, but Kame had so many important new questions.

“Kame...I know you’re concerned, and now I get why, but I don’t think...” he cut himself off as Kame started shaking his head.

“You don’t need to answer to me Tacchan...it’s none of my business” he smiled grimly “But please think about it seriously ok?” Ueda nodded, something about Kame’s demeanor making him feel emotional, the other man really wasn’t just trying to spoil their fun.

“Thank you Kame” he said eventually, voice thick “You’re a good friend, you know I love you right?” Kame laughed but there were tears sparkling in his eyes.

“Stop it, don’t get all mushy on me or I’ll cry” he complained but the tears were already spilling and Ueda grabbed him, pulling him into a tight hug. “One more thing...if you decide to keep going with this...you will be subtle about it right? Even if you decide you can handle it, Johnny-san might not feel as confident...”

“I promise” and he released the other man.

“Come on then, we better get back to rehearsals...you can tell Taguchi about all this later, I just figured Koki and Yucchi would feel left out if we dragged him out as well. Ueda nodded and they headed back inside to join their group.


	7. June 2nd 2012

Ueda had managed to avoid being alone with Taguchi for the rest of the day after his talk with Kame, it wasn’t that he was avoiding him as such, more that he needed a little time alone just to think things through before he bit the bullet and had a heart-to-heart with the younger man. With a day off the next day he’d managed to quell Taguchi’s protests by promising they could meet the next day to discuss it. He’d kind of already made plans for his day off, spending time with his neglected dogs plans, but he figured it wouldn’t be too bad to drag Taguchi along, he could always use an extra hand when his pets got too excited.

“Be ready for me to pick you up at 10am tomorrow ok? I won’t be happy if I have to wait around for you” Were his last words before he hung up the phone on the younger man, and went to sleep.

To his surprise the younger man was already waiting by the curb when he pulled up, wearing possibly the most embarrassingly bright shorts he’d ever seen.

“Morning Uepi” he smiled brightly as Ueda leaned his head out of the window.

“What are you wearing?” was his stony reply.

“Well, it’s summer...” Taguchi pouted.

Ueda shook his head “Go change...and bring a spare set of clothes too”

“Well where are we going? If I know where we’re going I’ll know what I should be wearing...” Taguchi pouted even more.

“We’re going to the beach...and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. Just wear something normal ok? Something you can run in comfortably.

Taguchi rolled his eyes but dashed back to his apartment anyway returning a reasonable amount of time later in a slightly more modest pair of beach shorts, and carrying a beach bag in place of his satchel.

“Better?” he asked as he clambered into the passenger seat, tucking his bag down by his feet.

“What’s with the bag?” Ueda asked, feigning disinterest.

“If we’re going to the beach we need towels, and snacks and water of course.”

Ueda rolled his eyes “Gee, why didn’t I think of that while I was planning this little trip” he said sarcastically as he started to drive away.

“Uepi...lighten up, you’re acting almost as if you don’t want me here...I’m just trying to help” Taguchi whined.

Ueda just sighed, but when he stopped at the next red light, he glanced over and felt a little guilty at the crestfallen look on Taguchi’s face. “If I didn’t want you to come I wouldn’t have invited you...I thought the company would be nice” He saw the smile light back up on Taguchi’s face and then the light turned green.

“See, you can be sweet when you want to be.”

“Shut up, I need to concentrate on driving” he snapped back, but he was smiling despite himself.

“Aren’t we going to talk about the whole Kame thing?”

“We can talk about it later...I might have changed my mind about some stuff by the end of today.”

Less than an hour later they arrived in Odaiba and Ueda found somewhere close enough to the beach to park. The dogs were jumping around in the back, excited to be out for the day in the sun.

“Get ready to catch them when I open the door” he grinned to a startled looking Taguchi, but when he finally let them out it wasn’t so bad, mostly they were jumping up excitedly at Ueda. “Come on then guys” he said finally, gathering together the leads and biscuits and bags before handing them all over to Taguchi and reaching for the cooler stored in the boot.

“Do you want to grab my bag too since my hands are kind of full” Taguchi beamed, looking almost as excited as the dogs, and so Ueda did while Taguchi headed towards the beach to find a good spot to set up camp.

“Alright, first things first, let’s get these dogs worn out a bit so we can chill out the rest of the day” He grinned at Taguchi “shall I wait here with the little ones while you take the retrievers?” the colour drained a little from Taguchi’s face. “I’m joking, you wait here...there’s food and water and stuff in the cooler, just help yourself, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Luckily Taguchi had the foresight to bring his DS, since it wasn’t until over an hour later that Ueda returned, he’d managed to keep an eye on him for most of the time though as he was just doing laps of the beach.

“Tired yet?” Taguchi grinned, passing the older man a bottle of water.

“Exhausted” he panted back “I can’t run in this heat” he grabbed a towel and a spare set of clothes from his bag beside the cooler as he tethered the dog leads to a nearby post. “I’m just going to change”

Taguchi pouted “It’s kinda hot how you’re all sweaty though...” but Ueda just laughed and walked off.

He returned a short while later, cleaner and in fresh clothes and plonked himself down beside the dogs. “You can take the little ones now, don’t go too far though, and it’s alright just to walk with them, they don’t have the energy in this heat” Taguchi nodded and set off for a short walk, returning after about 20 minutes, panting as hard as the dogs.

“So what’s the plan now?” he asked happily as he sat back down and picked up his own bottle of water.

“Let you and the dogs rest for a little while and then go find some proper food.”

“Oooh, do they have those restaurants here where you can take your dogs in? And they do special dog versions of all the food?” he grinned excitedly.

“Calm down...” but he couldn’t help a smile “They won’t be getting anything special to eat anyway, they’ll be sick on the way home.” Taguchi pouted a little, but Ueda just laughed and lay back on the ground.

As promised, a little while later they headed to a restaurant where the dogs were ushered to a separate room where they were bathed and brushed while the two ate. Ueda tried not to groan in shame when Taguchi’s excited chatter about the restaurant attracted the attention of a group of fans. Thankfully they were polite enough to just come over and meet them, then leave them in peace.

After eating they returned to the beach for a little while, but it was a very humid, though dry day and the heat was getting a bit too much for the dogs to handle.

“Maybe we should get them back home?” Taguchi asked as he filled the water bowl for the second time in ten minutes.

“Yeah, they’ve had a nice day out” and he patted the top of a worn out retriever’s head. “Come on guys, let’s get out of this heat.” And so they headed back to the car, both men stopping off to change out of their own sweaty clothes and into clean, dry ones.

“Thank you for inviting me” Taguchi smiled shyly once back behind the safety of the tinted glass windows. He leaned over and pressed his lips softly against Ueda’s just for the briefest of moments.


	8. June 2nd 2012

“I’m hungry now” Taguchi groaned when they were most of the way home.

“There’s still some snacks in your bag isn’t there?”

“I mean properly hungry, not just for snacks.”

Ueda rolled his eyes a little. “Fine, we’ll get home and change then you can take me out for dinner...It’s only fair since I took you to the beach”

Taguchi’s face lit up “Our first and second date, all on the same day, how romantic”

“It’s not a date!” Ueda snapped back a little too quickly.

Taguchi laughed “I was joking, calm down. Though maybe it would be better if we stayed in? I mean being spotted alone together in two different places...”

“I guess...maybe” he thought for a few minutes “Fine, you’d better come to my place though, I don’t want to leave the dogs alone too long incase the heat made them ill...”

Taguchi’s face turned up in a mischievous grin “So if we went out for food that’d be fine, but if you came over to my place you’d be gone too long? What’s going on in that mind of yours hmm?”

That’s exactly where Ueda’s mind was going, but he was hardly going to admit that to Taguchi so he settled for an insult “You know that smug expression makes you look really ugly” but the blush on his cheeks ruined the venom of it, and Taguchi just giggled delightedly at him.

After a small silence in which Taguchi stared out of the window, the younger man turned to him with sly grin. “Don’t you think it would be fun to just pull over somewhere secluded and have sex in the car?”

Ueda almost crashed the car in surprise. “What like right now?” Taguchi just turned and flashed him a cheeky grin “It’s not even dark out”

“But the windows are tinted...”

“Not tinted enough for us to have public sex, and besides, even if it were a possibility, imagine the fun we’ll have fighting 6 dogs for the backseat.”

Taguchi smirked “We don’t have to use the back seat...I could ride you like I did before...”

Ueda laughed but he couldn’t deny he was getting a little aroused at the thought “Junno, stop it, we’re not having sex in the car...”

Taguchi threaded his hand under Ueda’s arm to rest it against his thigh “But now I’m excited, aren’t you getting excited too?”

Ueda exhaled sharply as the hand slid further up his thigh, then began rubbing gently at the bulge between his legs.

“Don’t” he groaned quietly, then louder when the other man continued “Junno don’t, I can’t concentrate on the road if you keep doing that.”

“Then pull over” he replied suggestively.

“Junno, we can’t...not with the dogs in the car”

Taguchi pouted but didn’t push any further, and he withdrew his hand “You’re no fun...”

“Baka” Ueda retorted “What did you have to get me worked up like that for?”

He was still excited by the time they arrived back at his apartment. He let them in, shutting the dogs in the kitchen and dragging Taguchi quickly to his room. He closed the door and pushed Taguchi back against it, locking their lips together hungrily as he hurried to strip off the younger man’s clothes. He almost growled as his hand came across something in Taguchi’s pocket, a tube of lube.

Taguchi smirked happily “Did I get you that hot, baby?”

Ueda’s face fell momentarily into a glare but before Taguchi had chance to say anything, Ueda had pressed their lips back together and was dragging him towards the bed. He paused briefly to pull down the blinds and remove his own clothes, then he bent the younger man forward, effectively pushing him down onto the bed.

Taguchi scrambled to his knees, shuffling forward on the bed before letting Ueda push him back down, elbows into the mattress, ass sticking in the air.

“You thought you were pretty clever teasing me like that in the car...” he almost hissed as he slid the first lubed finger inside Taguchi’s waiting body.

“I wasn’t...” he whined as Ueda pulled his finger out, torturously slowly, then pushed it back in “I wasn’t teasing...I wanted it...”

“What did you want?” Ueda groaned back, continuing the slow thrusting and gripping Taguchi’s leg hard with the other hand to prevent himself from touching his cock.

“I wanted you...” he whined again loudly “I wanted you to fuck me...” Ueda gave in just a little, speeding up the gentle thrusts “Please, I want you to fuck me...please”

“I like hearing you beg” Ueda smirked, but he rewarded the other by adding a second finger, pushing them in harder and faster until Taguchi was reduced to a rambling, begging mess. He could feel his own resolve fading and quickly moved to position himself at Taguchi’s entrance, applying some of the lube to his erection before pushing in as slow as he could bear.

He stilled for a few moments to gather himself before gently leaning himself down over Taguchi’s back pressing his body into Taguchi’s from behind and kissing gently along his shoulder.

Taguchi tried to buck back against him in an effort to get him moving. But the body pressed into him wouldn’t budge. “Please...” he whined “Tatsuya, please”

“Please what?” Ueda groaned into his ear.

“Please move...I need it, please.” He whined back.

Ueda pulled back a little, gently, and pushed back in slowly, forcing a loud groan from the other man.

“Does it feel good?” he moaned breathily.

Taguchi nodded into the sheets “It feels so good.” Ueda could feel the tight muscles, clenching around him “Faster...please”

Ueda conceded, repeating the action just once, but a little faster. “Like this?”

Taguchi’s head shook “Please, fuck me... please” Ueda did it again, loving the way Taguchi cried out, swearing loudly. Ueda was surprised Taguchi even knew such words, but it surprised him even more how arousing it was to hear them spill from his panting lips. “Baby please, I need it now...please” he was practically sobbing. “Please, please...”

Ueda allowed him to chant the word a few more times, but after that he couldn’t hold back even if he wanted to, he put more weight onto his arms and rammed into the other as fast as he could. He felt completely taken over, fire and desire, and hot heat searing through him, pushing him harder, faster until the whole world seemed to shatter around him, only the echo of his own cry ringing in his ears as he collapsed spent on the younger man’s back.

It was only when his own breathing calmed that he realised there was no similar sound of relief in the other man’s voice as he continued to pant hard. He pushed himself back up onto his knees and withdrew slowly, but instead of the usual slightly pained wince, the younger man tried to rock back, emitting a frustrated groan.

Without speaking he ran his hand slowly up the back of Taguchi’s thigh, slipping his fingers through his own release that was already running down it. When he reached the source of the fluid he gently pushed two fingers inside, causing the younger man to moan and push back against them. He pushed in and out just a few times, then curled his fingers in just the right way to have Taguchi jerking, sobbing into the sheets. He kept his fingers curled that way and thrust them just a little further inside before pulling them back to scrape across that spot, making Taguchi shudder again and cry out.

Taguchi began quietly pleading again, though he couldn’t be sure exactly what for, so he sped up the shallow thrusts, making sure to stroke the small bump each time, faster and harder until, finally, Taguchi near screamed, almost crushing Ueda’s fingers inside him. Ueda continued, fighting against the constricting muscle until Taguchi grunted, shaking his head in his arms, and Ueda slipped his fingers out slowly.

Not knowing how to react he cleared his throat and stroked gently at Taguchi’s thigh, then he got up to fetch some tissues and began softly wiping his release from the other mans body.

“Thank you” Taguchi murmured once Ueda had finished, and he sat back on his heels, cheeks flushing instantly at the sight of the white streaks he’d made across Ueda’s black sheets “I’m sorry Tatsuya, I made a mess...”

Ueda couldn’t help but smile at his guilty expression “Don’t worry about it”, he laughed when Taguchi’s expression didn’t change “Junno its fine, go shower while I change the sheets and then you can make some food alright?”


	9. June 2nd 2012

“It smells delicious” Ueda sang as he entered the kitchen, clean from his shower, his dogs clearly thought so too as Taguchi was fighting to keep them from stealing food from the sideboards while he was trying to cook. “Hey, hey now, get down” he shouted at the dogs “Just cos he’s a push-over there’s no need to take advantage of him.” Then he laughed happily at the pout on Taguchi’s face “You know I’m going to run out of pyjamas if you keep stealing them...you still haven’t returned the last ones you borrowed” he added taking in Taguchi’s attire.

“They’re comfy though” Taguchi replied, his pout turning into one of his trademark sparkling smiles. “Go set the table it’s almost ready.”

Less than ten minutes later they were sat comfortably across from each other at the small table in Ueda’s living room, the dogs shut safely away in the kitchen again.

“OK, Junno...we need to talk...” Ueda said after a long silence.

Taguchi smirked at his serious tone “You’re not breaking up with me are you?”

“Baka” Ueda reprimanded, hitting his leg under the table “I’m being serious...”

“Is this what the whole Kame thing was about?” Taguchi asked, this time trying to be serious.

“Yeah...so basically he said he’s not going to interfere with us anymore...or try to tell us what to do, but he asked, as our friend he said, to think seriously about what it is we’re doing...”

“I’ve thought about it, I know what we’re doing...” Taguchi replied nonchalantly.

“Well what is it then?”

“We’re friends...really good friends...but with benefits...we get along well, we have fun, we take care of each other’s needs, and then we go to work and both feel better for it...it’s simple” he replied just as carelessly.

“Junno, I don’t think you’re taking this seriously...”

“No, I’m not...I don’t want to take it too seriously because it isn’t serious...if you said you wanted to marry me or something...that’d be serious, but this...we’re just the same, only a little more intimate...”

Ueda frowned “What so, because we’re not in a relationship it wouldn’t matter if you hurt my feelings or something?”

“I’d like to think I wouldn’t hurt your feelings...if something is getting to you then tell me and I’ll stop before I hurt your feelings...that’s what I’ve been saying all along, you need to talk to me instead of getting all angsty on me...”

Ueda’s frown deepened, Taguchi did kind of have a point. “Well...I mean that’s beside the point...Kame had a lot of really interesting questions and I think it’d be good for both of us if we at least talk about them ok? Find out where exactly we stand...”

“If that’ll make you feel better...what’s the first question?”

“I don’t know...I can’t remember everything alright, but, he said have things changed between us since we started this?”

Taguchi didn’t even take a moment to think “Of course...”

“What? You think they have?” Ueda asked shocked.

“Sure...not in a bad way but yeah, we’re a lot closer now I think, and you know, we can be open with each other about more stuff...that’s got to mean we trust each other more and feel more comfortable with each other, right?”

“I guess...” Ueda replied thoughtfully “But it’s not like, in a weird way right?”

Taguchi laughed “What do you mean? How could I trust you in a weird way?”

“You know, it’s like a ‘we trust each other so we’re better friends’ way right? Not an ‘I’m in love with you’ kind of way.”

“Tatsuya, you’re being ridiculous ok?” Taguchi snorted. “Ok so first question, yes things have changed between us but not in a way that we need to worry about...”

“Ok, so what if things kept on changing between us...what if we, you know, had feelings for each other or something?”

Taguchi tried to be serious again, “Of course feelings could develop between us, we’re friends and we have this new intimacy, so it’s only natural if our feelings towards each other start changing. But as long as we don’t let things get out of hand...I don’t see why that should be a problem...”

“It can’t be good for us though...”

Taguchi nodded thoughtfully “If things got out of hand it wouldn’t...but as long as we talk about stuff we can catch it in time, then we can just stop this before anyone’s feelings go too far...and one of us ends up getting hurt”

“And could we do that? Just stop...we couldn’t do it before when there weren’t feelings involved, won’t it just be harder if there are feelings?” Ueda asked doubtfully.

“I think we could...it’s like when you get a crush on that girl in school, but then you find out she already has a boyfriend, and he’s older than you and could totally kick your ass...so you move on and find someone else to aim for. See, before when we agreed we couldn’t stop, it was more that neither of us wanted to stop...or saw any reason why we should...if we had the right motivation I think we could...”

Ueda had to admit it kind of made sense “Ok, so say that happened, and we decided to stop? Could we just be ok with each other?”

“I don’t see why not...maybe for a little while it’d be a little weird, but once the feelings had calmed down I don’t see why we couldn’t just stay friends...”

Ueda nodded slowly “And you think we could pretend like everything’s alright?”

“We’re both good actors...” Taguchi shrugged.

Ueda sat in silence for a few moments, thinking. “Ok, so last question, most important one...The stuff you’ve said, maybe you’re right, maybe it will be that simple...but if it’s not...if something goes terribly wrong and we get hurt or can’t work together anymore, and it messes everything up for the whole group...is what we have now, worth that risk?”

Taguchi gave the question a little consideration. “Ok well firstly, if it did get to that stage, all of that wouldn’t be happening for the sake of what we have now, it’d be for the sake of whatever it was that got us into that mess...and since we can’t predict what that would be, there’s no way to know whether or not it’s worth it...secondly, the whole point of all the other stuff, keeping our feelings in check and stuff, that’s so we don’t get to the stage of not being able to work together...”

“But relationships are unpredictable aren’t they? We can’t know for sure we’d definitely be able to stick to those steps and stuff...right?” Ueda argued back concerned.

“True, but it’s not just this relationship that’s unpredictable, there’s as much chance something goes wrong and I can’t work with you anymore, as there is of something going wrong...say with Koki...maybe we have some sort of fight or argument and can’t work together...say Koki goes for one of Maru’s sister’s and they fall out and can’t work together....”

“I guess...I don’t know...I’m confused!” Ueda stuttered back “I didn’t expect you to have so many answers...”

“Just because I’m not taking it too seriously, it doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about this stuff...” there was another long pause “So has the jury reached a verdict?”

“I guess it’s like you said, as long as we can be sensible with our feelings, and stop before things go too far, and if we’re discrete about it...then I don’t see why we should stop...” Ueda nodded with finality.

“Sounds good to me” Taguchi nodded happily.

“Hey Junno...how do we know though...if our feelings are getting out of hand?”

“I think it’s just one of those things you know...like right now, I have feelings for you, like, I like you, as more than a friend, and I care about you, but I know what this is, and if you suddenly came to me and said you’d met a really great girl and you thought there could be some future for you with her...I wouldn’t begrudge you that...I’d happily let you go and support your relationship with her...but if it got to a point that I couldn’t say that...then maybe my feelings were getting a little too strong...”

Ueda nodded again thoughtfully “You know...you’re actually pretty smart...if this career ever fails, you should totally write for an advice column or something.”

Taguchi laughed, “You think so? Well, you know actually...you worry too much, so maybe you could write in to me sometimes...”

Ueda laughed and smacked him on the leg again. He couldn’t explain what it was, but something about the other man soothed him. He’d thought over and over those questions, and though he didn’t exactly have all the answers, other than that for now, what they were doing was ok, he never imagined talking to Taguchi about it would make him feel so light about it. Maybe the other man was right, maybe he did just worry too much...the way he could see it now, everything seemed so simple.

“Come on then” Ueda said once they’d finished eating “You can wash the pots, and I’ll brush all that sand off the dogs...”

“You know...I said I like you...and you didn’t even say anything back...that’s kind of rude” Taguchi teased as he stood up collecting the pots together.

“What is there to say...telling you I accept your feelings would be kind of silly when I’ve been fucking you for months already...”

Taguchi snorted in laughter “I guess...but you could say it back...”

“But I don’t...” Ueda replied trying nonchalance. He’d fought with himself a lot over his feelings for Taguchi but he’d refused, so far, to admit to himself that he did have feelings for the other man”

“Right...” Taguchi teased again, jabbing him in the ribs.

“I don’t...just because I like having sex with you...and maybe spending time with you is ok...and if I maybe don’t mind having you take care of me a little...that doesn’t mean I like you...” he snapped back, blushing maddeningly at his admissions.

“If you say so...” Taguchi sing-songed as he went back for the rest of the pots, a smirk lighting up his face.

“And even if I did...it would only be like...the tiniest amount possible” he conceded, rather quietly in the hope that Taguchi didn’t hear him. But he was out of luck as Taguchi burst into a fit of delighted giggles before rushing back into the room to trap him in a hug and press kisses all over his face.

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Taguchi teased further.

“Get off me” Ueda snapped trying to push him away “Stop it, you’re gross, even if I did like you, it’s not like we’re a couple or anything.” He kept on pushing and eventually he managed to get out of Taguchi’s hold, the younger man was still smiling stupidly though. “Those pots aren’t going to wash themselves...”

“Fine, fine...” Taguchi said, sobering up a little, but he added hopefully “You know...it’s still early...maybe afterwards we could watch a movie or something?”

“Hmm, we’ll see...” Ueda replied smiling, though he had no intention of refusing, he wasn’t really mad at Taguchi’s silly behaviour, if he was honest with himself he actually found it a little charming...sometimes...but only a little.

Once they were finished they put on a random movie and sat at opposite ends of the sofa, but Ueda soon began feeling sleepy.

Taguchi looked over and saw him almost nodding off “Lay down if you’re tired, you can take a nap”.

Ueda had thought about it, but his sofa wasn’t big enough to lay on with Taguchi in the way. “There’s no room, I’m fine...”

Taguchi laughed “No you’re not” he held out an arm “Come here, you can rest on me...” Ueda cast him a sceptical look. “I promise I won’t tell anyone...”

Ueda thought for a moment, but then gave in, laying down with his head in Taguchi’s lap “Only because I’m tired ok?”

“Ok” Taguchi agreed as he started running fingers through his hair.

“Junno” Ueda mumbled sleepily a few minutes later “What does it feel like?”

“What does what feel like?” Taguchi asked back, smiling at Ueda’s cute expression.

Ueda rolled onto his back to look up into Taguchi’s face “What does it feel like when I’m inside you?”

Taguchi’s eyes widened a little in surprise, but he contemplated the question for a minute “It’s...It’s not like any else...I don’t know how to describe it, it just feels incredible...like being stretched thin and stroked soothingly at the same time. And everything feels like it’s on fire with sensation...and then when you hit my prostate it’s like...like a jolt of electricity so powerful that it curls me in on myself” when he looked back down Ueda was smiling wide, but sleepily at him. “Why?”

Ueda shook his head “I just wondered, you seem to like it a lot...”

Taguchi laughed but nodded “I wish you’d let me show you sometime”

Ueda’s smile turned a little coy “Maybe...”

Taguchi’s jaw actually dropped “Really?”

“If you play your cards right” he replied a little smugly, though the effect was ruined by a yawn. He rolled over then and Taguchi resumed running his fingers through the soft hair. Within minutes Ueda’s breathing had turned to gentle snores.


	10. June 10th 2012

Taguchi couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this nervous. He’d spent the last three quarters of an hour trying on nearly everything in his wardrobe, he’d almost decided on a shirt to wear, but really the colour depended on what trousers he went with. He didn’t want to wear suite trousers, that would probably make things awkward, too official he decided, but then would jeans be too casual? He could wear chinos, but all the chinos he owned were reasonably worn, he had been wearing them a lot this spring. In the end he decided on one of his less worn pairs of jeans, they’d been in his closet for years, he was sure, but they were quite tight fitting so he didn’t wear them often. A few times he ran back to the mirror, just to check he still approved, they were fashionably tight, but of course he didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard to draw attention to his body. He was pretty much guaranteed sex after all, one way or another, he just wanted to make the right choices, play his cards right, as it were, to get it the way he wanted.

Ueda had of course denied his sleepy conversation, at first anyway, but Taguchi was nothing if not persistent, and eventually the older man came clean. It seemed that night wasn’t the first time Ueda had thought about that kind of situation, he just hadn’t wanted to bring it up. Even when he finally did admit to it, he was much more reluctant to actually go through with it, but Taguchi managed to convince him to at least stay open minded about it, with the promise of a lovely dinner and no pressure.

So that’s how things got to this. It was half past 6 on a Sunday night and Taguchi was rather bravely trying to cook what he hoped would be an impressive dinner of homemade curry with all the correct side dishes and extras, complete with expensive wine and a sweet surprise for dessert.

Work had been busy over the past week, there were meetings underway about a few one-off concerts they would be performing in Taiwan as a follow up to their tour earlier that year, discussions of a possible new tv show and each of them were being considered individually for drama roles. The workload meant he’d had very little free time to spend with Ueda and he was looking forward to their date tonight, followed by a whole day off the next day.

The doorbell rang at 7 o’ clock sharp and Taguchi rushed to buzz Ueda into the building, counting the seconds nervously until he knocked at the door.

“Hey” he smiled brightly as he let the other man in “You look...you look really good.” And he couldn’t deny that was the truth, he was wearing dark jeans too, with a black tank top and a pale check shirt over the top. Taguchi swallowed, willing his eyes away from the other man.

“You didn’t skimp on the cheesy romance did you?” Ueda scoffed lightly as he made his way into the living room. Where there had been an open space there was now a table, set for two complete with candles and wine glasses, the lights were switched off with only the candles and a lamp over in the corner of the room for light, and there was some kind of light tinkly music playing quietly.

Taguchi blushed a little, he had thought it was a little over the top, but then figured if he was going to go for romantic, he might as well go the full way. “I figured if I did it all I’d have to get something right...”

He couldn’t help but smile as Ueda turned to him, blushing slightly “It’s nice, thank you for going to all the effort...”

“Take a seat I’m about to put it out...” he smiled, heart fluttering. He headed back to the kitchen for the wine, so far everything was going well, the older man hadn’t out-rightly laughed in his face at least. He took a few deep breaths to steady his hands, which for some reason he couldn’t keep from shaking, then he put on his brightest smile and headed into the living room with the bottle in hand. “Wine sir?” he asked with an air of elegance.

“Thank you” Ueda nodded, and Taguchi half filled their glasses before placing the bottle in the centre of the table, beside a jug of ice water.

“There’s water here too, you know, for if you want...” he cut himself off, embarrassed at the way his words were stuttering out, and then he quickly hid his shaking hands behind his back again. “I’ll go...you know, get the food...” and he walked away quickly, face flushing, Ueda must have noticed his hands. He quickly downed a glass of tap water, then took a few minutes to collect himself, but before he had even moved he felt arms wrap gently around him from behind. He let out a puff of air, embarrassed further to be caught like this, and then he turned around in the older man’s hold, facing him though not looking into his eyes.

“You don’t need to be so nervous...” Ueda coaxed, but even at the words Taguchi felt embarrassed, he knew he had no reason to be, he just wanted so badly to make things perfect for them that night. “It’s just me alright? You don’t need to impress me...” he rubbed his nose gently along Taguchi’s cheek and then under his chin, encouraging his head up. “It’s really sweet that you’ve done all this, and I really appreciate it, but I want you to have a nice time too ok? This whole quiet night in idea was supposed to be so I didn’t feel any pressure, but it’s no good if you feel under pressure because of it...”

Taguchi tried a smile and nodded “I’m sorry, I just want everything to be perfect...”

Ueda smiled “Well you’re doing really well so far, so just relax a bit ok?” Taguchi nodded and turned his head a little, brushing their lips together gently, but it was Ueda who pressed them together properly, just a short, sweet peck, but it was enough to have Taguchi’s skin tingling. “Come on then, let’s go and eat.”

Taguchi managed to relax a little as the meal progressed, he had to admit his food was pretty good, and the wine was going down a treat too. The conversation was natural, very light topics and Taguchi was pleased to note he wasn’t doing too bad at making Ueda laugh either. But as the meal ended and they moved over to the sofa with their glasses of wine, there was a slight tension starting to rise, crackling like static electricity between them, only now it was Ueda that was acting nervously.

“It’s getting pretty hard to ignore that elephant in the room, huh?” Ueda chuckled, his voice a little too high in pitch, after a few minutes of awkward silence.

Taguchi laughed “Yeah...I think things got a little...” but he couldn’t think of a way to finish his sentence “So much for no pressure...” he paused and there was another awkward silence “You know, you don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want...I won’t try and make you do anything...”

“I know” Ueda cut him off gently, placing a hand reassuringly on his knee “I trust you Junno, I’m just” his breathing was a little quick “I don’t know if I can...”

There was a tangible drop in Taguchi stomach at his words, but he knew the key was patience, and time. He didn’t want to try and force or manipulate Ueda into doing something he didn’t want to do, but for some unexplainable reason he wanted to...he paused, he couldn’t even think of the right word to describe it. He definitely didn’t want to fuck Ueda, that sounded too harsh, but it wouldn’t be making love either. He just wanted to be the one doing the doing...for him to have Ueda, to take him.

He couldn’t even really place the reason why, it wasn’t anything physical, he’d had sex with girls before and surely it wasn’t really that different, other than being a bit tighter he imagined, no, it wasn’t the physical feeling that made him crave the act so badly. That could only mean it was something psychological or emotional...

“Junno...” Ueda asked tentatively, breaking him from his thoughts.

“Sorry” he smiled shaking his head “I phased out a bit there...” Ueda looked down, his face sad. “It’s ok, don’t get worried about it, if you don’t want to try it tonight then that’s alright...I can wait as long as you need...”

Ueda smiled a little “Thank you...And we can see...later on maybe...if I feel...”

“Ok” Taguchi smiled, “well in the meantime, how about some dessert?” And he went to fetch the dessert he’d planned.

Ueda’s face lit up when he saw the tray of fruit, and the large pot of chocolate fondue beside it, Taguchi placed it down on kotatsu and they both sat down in front of it. Taguchi picked up a stick first and speared it into a thick slice of banana, he dipped it thoroughly into the melted chocolate and, hand cupped under it, brought it up to the other man’s mouth. Ueda flashed him a saucy grin and then opened his mouth, taking the banana from the stick in the most seductive way he could manage.

They continued that way for a while, taking turns to feed each other, getting messier and giddier as they went along. Taguchi was already hard, just the sight of Ueda, his mouth, lips red with strawberry juice, tongue darting out to lick it away sensually, eyes hazy with what could only be his own lust. He fed him another, desperate to see his guilty pleasure again, but as the juice dribbled down, chocolate smeared at the side of his mouth he couldn’t take it anymore.

He pushed the kotatsu away and leaned forward, pushing the older man gently to the floor and moving to hover over him. He licked his own lips then bent his head down to lick the juice from Ueda’s. The older man gasped, his own tongue coming out to meet Taguchi’s, tasting the mixture of chocolate and fruit. Taguchi quickly took control, passion driving him to push Ueda’s tongue back inside his mouth, diving in after it, to tangle with it and taste it.

“Junno” Ueda gasped, suddenly breaking his mouth away but staying close, panting against his lips “Junno, I’m ready, I want to...”


	11. June 10th 2012

Taguchi removed both their clothes quickly once they had made it, stumbling along the hall in an effort to keep their mouths fused, to the bedroom. He lay the older man down on the bed, crawling over him, and pressed gentle kisses across his neck and shoulder. They were both panting, and the man below him was trembling softly though he couldn’t tell if it was anxiousness or anticipation. His own skin was prickling too and though he was flooded with desire he felt strangely lucid. His eyes drinking in the beautiful image before him, his mind wrapping around the knowledge that he, Taguchi Junnosuke, would soon be inside Ueda Tatsuya.

He let his hands flutter down across the soft skin of Ueda’s stomach, loving the way the older man just lay back and let him, trusted him completely, for once, to take full control.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked tentatively, but the older man just nodded and so he reached for the lube, settling himself between Ueda’s legs and then applying a small amount to his fingers. With his other hand he gently encouraged Ueda’s legs up, bending them back towards his chest and then he began rubbing soothing circles over his abdomen. “If you want me to stop, you just need to say it ok? I promise I’ll stop.”

Ueda nodded again, smiling shakily “I trust you”, and then his eyes slid shut as Taguchi pushed the first finger gently inside. His eyes snapped immediately back up to Ueda’s face, watching for his reaction, but other than clenching his eyes closed and inhaling a little harder, there was no other sign of discomfort, so he moved the finger around, experimenting with slow thrusts and strokes. Ueda’s breath hitched slightly at one point, but aside from that and the way the muscles would sporadically clench harder around his finger there was no other reaction.

As gently as he could he slid a second finger in beside the first, Ueda’s breath hitched again and he momentarily raised his head, opening his eyes to look at Taguchi, but then he let it fall back to the pillow.

“Is it ok?” Taguchi asked concerned.

“It’s...it’s just weird” Ueda replied, voice a little shaky “I’m ok though...”

Taguchi nodded, though he knew the other man couldn’t see him, and he started moving the fingers in and out slowly. Ueda’s breathing sped up, getting a little louder, but he didn’t say anything so Taguchi continued. Once he could comfortably slide his fingers all the way in and back out again without Ueda’s muscles protesting against him, he slipped his fingers out.

“Are you ready?” he asked gently. “It might hurt a little, just at first ok?” Ueda looked into his eyes and then nodded gently, Taguchi nodded in reply.

He reached for the lube again, applying a large amount to his erection and he stifled a moan as he made sure it was spread properly, then he leaned over the older man, positioning himself at his entrance. He dipped his head down to press his lips gently onto Ueda’s as he pushed slowly inside. He was just a little way inside when he heard a small whimper from the man below him, he stopped still, drawing his face away to look into his eyes again. Ueda’s brow was furrowed, breaths coming out in shallow pants. He waited for the muscles that were clenching tightly around him to relax a little and then, keeping his eyes locked onto Ueda’s face he pushed a little further inside. The muscles immediately clenched down again, and Ueda’s eyes slid shut, moisture only just visible under the thick lashes.

“I know baby” he cooed gently, brushing Ueda’s cheek with his thumb “It doesn’t hurt for long” and then swiftly, he slid the rest of the way in. He heard Ueda’s whimper again, and he felt a little guilty at the harsh, shaky breaths coming from the older man, whose head was turned to the side, eyes still clenched tightly shut. He gently rubbed at Ueda’s cheek some more, and then, trying to keep his body as still as possible, he leant down to peck his lips.

“Are you alright?” Taguchi asked, and he felt relieved when Ueda’s eyes opened and his head turned to face him.

“It hurts” he replied, barely a whisper “but I don’t want you to stop.”

Taguchi felt torn “I’m sorry baby, I promise it won’t hurt for long” Ueda nodded and he leaned up to meet Taguchi’s lips, wincing slightly at the movement.

Taguchi kissed him back gratefully, laying him back down fully on the bed, and then he continued to kiss him, slowly and softly, listening to the way Ueda’s breathing slowed, feeling his body relax. He ran his hand gently across Ueda’s hip until it met with his cock, laying half hard against his stomach, he ran his hand over it gently which caused a surprised gasp from the older man.

He stopped his actions momentarily to reach out to the side for the lube, he squirted a little onto his hand and then smoothed it over Ueda’s steadily growing erection. Ueda groaned, clenching around Taguchi, still deep inside him, and then he moaned loudly with the effect it had on his body. Taguchi continued his action, stroking the hard flesh in his hand, loving the way the older man groaned and tossed his head to the side, clenching down hard around him.

After a few minutes he felt he couldn’t take it anymore and urged his hips into motion. Ueda hissed as the muscles clenched again, but on the next stroke Taguchi felt him relax a little. He started out slowly but the noises coming from Ueda’s mouth urged him faster, strangled gasps and moans, then as his hand moved faster, sobs. Taguchi leaned down to kiss Ueda, but the older man was too lost in his haze of pleasure to respond to it, so instead he latched his mouth onto his chest, creeping kisses slowly closer, then finally reaching the sensitive nipple. As his tongue swept across it a guttural groan tore from the other man’s throat and his back arched slightly up.

He could feel his own release drawing close too quickly and he strained to hold on, leaning up a little to revel in the sight before him. Ueda laid back, knees to his chest, back arching in pleasure as his head rolled from side to side, his eyes clenched shut and the most lewd moans spilling from his parted lips. Somehow it felt almost surreal, to think that Ueda had actually allowed himself to be in this position, to be at the mercy of Taguchi, of his hands and lips, and at the mercy of his cock as Taguchi buried it deep inside him, over and over.

It was the thought and sight as much as the feeling that pushed Taguchi over, sucking the breath out of him as continued to push inside hard, even as the waves washed over him, pulsating his release deep into the other man’s body.

Even as his high left him he continued, his hand moving as fast as it could while his hips slowed, but it was enough and he heard Ueda’s strangled scream just as he felt the cock in his hand twitch, shooting the sticky white fluid over Ueda’s chest and abdomen. He waited for Ueda’s body to relax and then he slipped out slowly, Ueda cried out in discomfort, but he knew the older man would be ok now and so he moved to flop down, exhausted, on the bed beside him.

Ueda’s small body was still trembling slightly so Taguchi pulled him closer, pulling the covers up over the two of them. Then he laid enjoying the calm sound of Ueda’s breathing returning to normal, and then shifting to light snores. He cuddled in closer, now that the desire in him had been dulled he felt the full force of what that night had meant to him, knowing that Ueda had trusted him, even when the older man was clearly in pain he’d trusted him to continue, and even though he was in likely the most vulnerable situation he’d ever been in, he’d trusted Taguchi enough to know it’d be alright. He pulled the sleeping man close to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around the small, seemingly fragile body in a strange need to protect him.


	12. June 11th 2012

The first thing he noticed was the pain, he must have tried to roll over and pain shot through his lower back. For a moment he was startled and confused, but then the memories of the previous night flooded back to him, he gasped, disbelieving that he’d actually gone through with it. He glanced to his side, Taguchi was still sleeping peacefully beside him, but somehow now he seemed terrifying, the power he’d had over Ueda the previous night. Ueda mentally scolded himself for his weakness, cringing at the memory of laying back, legs spread like a whore, and giving himself completely to the other man like some naive, trusting school girl.

He turned away disgusted, but quickly realised it was his own actions he was ashamed of, the other man had done only what he had asked. He felt angry tears prickling behind his eyes and knew he had to get up and pull himself together, what’s done is done, he thought as he swung his legs as gently as he could off the side of the bed. He had to use the bedside table to pull himself up, and then he managed to stand, more limping than walking to the bathroom. He could feel Taguchi’s release where it had slid out of him, and when his muscles twitched at the thought of it he could feel more dripping out. He looked then at his chest, his own release smeared over it and he couldn’t help but remember how good it was, how deep and strong and powerful it had felt, he felt dirty.

He climbed straight into the shower, turning on the water extra hot as he scrubbed the evidence from his body, and somehow it helped to soothe his mind as well as his aching muscles. By the time he exited the shower he felt almost clean, and he felt like he had at least accepted what had happened, even if he did feel a little ashamed of himself. Now the most pressing issue for him was the pain, it wasn’t the worst he’d felt but he certainly didn’t feel like driving home to go out running with the dogs as he’d planned. As he walked back into Taguchi’s bedroom he noticed it was still dark, the clock on the cabinet said it was only 5 in the morning, and suddenly he felt how sleepy he was. Reluctantly he climbed back into the bed, he couldn’t exactly go home like this so he figured he may as well get some more sleep.

He glanced back over at Taguchi and felt a little angry at his peaceful face, technically he did deserve half the blame for his current condition. Without thinking he reached over and punched Taguchi, a little harder than necessary, in the shoulder.

“What?” Taguchi asked alarmed as the punch woke him.

“Jackass!” Ueda shouted at him “I was going out running with the dogs today but because of you I’m in far too much pain...fucking...jackass” he concluded before rolling to face away from the other man and attempting to sleep. The outburst had somewhat abated his anger and so he didn’t protest too much when Taguchi shuffled closer to him.

“Baka” Taguchi chuckled and then he placed a few gentle kisses on Ueda’s shoulder before wrapping an arm around him and tugging him closer.

The next time he woke up the clock said it was past 11. He glanced to the side and noticed a note on Taguchi’s pillow. ‘Breakfast is in the kitchen’.

He got up slowly, the pain in his back almost gone now, and pulled on the pyjamas Taguchi had left at the end of the bed for him. They were his own that Taguchi had borrowed previously but there was something different about them, somehow they seemed cosier and more relaxing. He shrugged off the thought as he dressed in them, blaming it on Taguchi’s detergent.

When he arrived in the kitchen there was a delicious smell of cooked rice, eggs left on the sideboard and a small pan of miso soup heating on the stove. He took a little of everything and set it on the kotatsu before going back to find something to drink, he was surprised when he opened the fridge to find some of the protein shakes he usually drank at home, and a small note on the front of the first bottle saying there was oolong teabags in the cupboard too. He smiled despite himself and then opted for some tea.

He wondered briefly where Taguchi was, but since he’d taken the care to leave notes everywhere he figured he hadn’t been kidnapped or anything. He took his tea back to the kotatsu with him and sat down to eat. When he reached for the TV remote he found the other note. ‘Just gone out for a while, I’ll be back soon.’ He stuck the note to his mug and then flipped on the TV, smiling when he found it already on the anime channel. “Baka” he whispered to himself.

After his sleep he was feeling much better about the previous night. He still felt a little embarrassed, after all he was the stoic boxer of the group, he just wasn’t used to feeling so vulnerable and allowing so much control to other people. He didn’t have a problem with the act itself either, he’d been happy to let Taguchi do that for him many times, if anything he felt he owed it to the other man to let him be in control every once in a while.

He couldn’t deny it had been pretty incredible too. Sure, at first it was scary and painful and he’d felt like he was being ripped open from the inside out, but after that had subsided it had felt more intense than any other sexual experience he’d had, and if he was honest, he was already longing to feel that intensity again.

It was around 12 when Taguchi finally returned, bringing with him two small, very excited dogs. It was the dogs he saw first, they rushed towards him, jumping up and licking at his face, even jumping up on the sofa behind him to get closer to attack him from the air.

“Hey, what happened to the rest of them” he pouted when Taguchi finally came into view.

“You’ve seen my car right?” he smiled back.”They’re at home, fed and watered and walked and everything. I just thought you might be missing them.”

Ueda was busy tousling his dog’s fur, playing with them. “Thank you, that’s sweet.” And then he turned back to fuss the dogs again. Taguchi rolled his eyes and then picked up Ueda’s breakfast pots, taking them to the kitchen to wash them. He’d already been up quite early clearing up and washing pots from the previous night, but something about cleaning up after Ueda made him feel a little warm inside.

By the time he’d finished the dogs were off exploring his apartment and Ueda was sat on the sofa. He went to sit beside the other man.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked seriously.

“Better” Ueda replied almost shyly.

Taguchi smiled “You were pretty pissed at me this morning”

Ueda nodded, blushing “I’m sorry, I was in a strange mood when I woke up, but I feel better about it now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Taguchi pushed gently.

After a few moments of consideration, Ueda thought it best to just come clean and be honest with him “I felt kind of dirty...like a slut.”

An expression of surprise passed briefly over Taguchi’s features but he collected himself before speaking “What made you feel like that?”

Ueda could sense how hurt he felt, but he knew it would hurt more to lie about it. “I don’t know...I guess it’s just strange for me...feeling that vulnerable and liking it.” He paused for a while but Taguchi didn’t say anything “I want to do it again though...I liked it, and I know I don’t need to be scared about trusting you...”

“You don’t” Taguchi conceded, finally looking up at him “You know that I would never try to make you do anything you weren’t sure about...” he took Ueda’s hand in his own “I don’t want to hurt you. I...You’re my friend, I care about you.”

“Thank you” Ueda replied quietly, taking his hand back from Taguchi “I care about you too...” There was an awkward silence for a few moments. “I’m sorry...for hurting you before.”

“When?” Taguchi asked confused.

“The first time...I know I hurt you pretty bad.”

Taguchi nodded, it would be a lie to say it didn’t hurt. “I forgive you.”

Ueda looked up at him and smiled “Thank you, I never really appreciated until now, just how much I must have hurt you, I mean, you were really slow and gentle, and thoughtful with me, and even then it hurt...”

Taguchi smiled “We didn’t know what we were doing back then, you’ve been much gentler with me ever since.”

“Does it...will it always hurt that much, like every time?” Ueda asked shyly.

“To me it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. I think maybe it’s just that you get used to it, like you know what to expect so you can relax easier knowing it’ll be better soon”

Ueda nodded and looked into Taguchi’s eyes, he hadn’t really stopped to think about it before, but Taguchi had willingly gone through quite a bit of pain for him, on several occasions. And not just that, he noted looking around, noticing the pots were gone from the kotatsu, he did other stuff too, cooked and cleaned up after him, walked his dogs, fetched him painkillers and takeaway at short notice, made him feel better about himself, made him smile and laugh, stood by him through his mood swings and was always there if he needed to talk about his feelings. He felt a rush of gratitude, and leaned over, pulling the younger man into a tight embrace.

“Thank you” he said, the simple words loaded with emotion, “I care about you a lot.”


	13. July 12th 2012

The past month had been a busy one for KAT-TUN, they were now filming for their new TV show, another 12-part special in the same vain as their last show. Sadly the location shoots had them traveling in all different directions across Japan, so despite working on something as a group they seemed to see less of each other.

On top of that Taguchi had just started filming for a new drama he was cast in, and Ueda had been invited as a regular on another variety show. Ueda had agreed to forget about the ‘no sleeping over’ rule, not that they were exactly following it before, since it seemed the only times that it was convenient for them to get together was late at night, after work.

Thankfully that morning they had all flown out to Taiwan together for the live concerts they were holding there, for the next two days they just had promotional work and rehearsals, but then there were three consecutive days of concerts. Ueda was excited about it, not only for the lives, but for the chance to be close to Taguchi for almost a whole week.

Since Ueda had started letting Taguchi take control more often in the bedroom, the younger man’s confidence had seemed to rise even more, if that were possible. He was sassy and cheeky, and it turned out just as much a sadist as he was a masochist. But it wasn’t just the sex that had improved, he continued to dote on Ueda, answering to his every whim, but in return Ueda tried his best to do more for Taguchi, playing video games with him or taking him out with the dogs more to play. They generally found that being in each others company was pleasant, even when they weren’t alone.

That night, they’d gone out for dinner as a group once work was done, but then they went their separate ways to their rooms for the night. Ueda waited impatiently for around 10 minutes, just to be sure everyone had made it back already, and then he snuck along to Taguchi’s room.

“What took you so long” Taguchi pouted, pushing him straight back into the wall adjacent to the door and diving into his mouth.

Ueda kissed back just as eagerly, it had been five days since they last met “Shit, Junno I want you so bad” he groaned just as soon as Taguchi pulled his mouth away. He pulled off Ueda’s shirt, dropping to floor with it to undo his trousers, kissing and licking the taut skin of his stomach as he did.

Ueda stepped out of his trousers and boxers as soon as they hit the floor, but Taguchi held him in place, taking the opportunity to tease him a little with his mouth. Ueda groaned as he began with long slow licks up the length of his erection, ending with a small flick of his tongue when he reached the head. Taguchi had enough experience by now to know that it drove Ueda wild when he did that, and Ueda didn’t disappoint, groaning as he attempted to push against Taguchi’s mouth.

Taguchi’s hands came up to press his hips back into the wall as Ueda expected they would, but he still couldn’t prevent the frustrated groan leaving his lips. His cock twitched as Taguchi teased it, pressing his tongue against the sensitive areas but then drawing quickly away.

“Junno, please...don’t be such a fucking tease” Ueda groaned, but he knew the words would just give the other man more motivation and he groaned again louder as Taguchi’s lips ghosted over the tip.

Eventually, one of the hands left his hip and moved down to grasp his erection at the base, and he moaned softly as Taguchi finally slid his mouth properly over the hard flesh. Ueda closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the wall, concentrating on just the feeling of Taguchi’s mouth, his tongue as it flicked against the head.

His hips started to move slowly and Taguchi allowed them to, but he was careful, he knew Taguchi couldn’t take it the way he could. Taguchi flattened his tongue, allowing Ueda to sink further into his mouth, and Ueda set upon a steady, though slightly reserved pace, groaning almost continually.

He didn’t want to finish like this, but Ueda loved the feeling of Taguchi’s mouth around him, and so he kept the pace slow, moaning as he almost tortured himself, Taguchi adding to it with those gentle flicks.

He was just nearing the point where he knew he should stop when he was startled by a noise to his right. His eyes opened at the same time Taguchi turned his head, dropping Ueda from his lips. They both froze as the door clicked shut.

There was nobody else in the room, so the only explanation was that somebody had opened the door and then ran. “Shit” Ueda exclaimed, scrambling for his clothes, arousal forgotten.

“Who was it? Did you see?” Taguchi asked, standing up, just as flustered.

“No” Ueda answered and Taguchi ran to the door to look out but there was nobody in sight.

“How did they even get in?” Taguchi asked confused, “you need the card to get in from the outside...”

“I don’t know...maybe we didn’t shut it properly?”

“We did, I heard it click...it was shut...” Taguchi flustered.

“Fuck...who was it?” Ueda panicked, sitting down, now fully dressed, on the bed.

“If it was Kame, he would have said something...” Taguchi replied solemnly, sitting beside him “So I guess someone else knows now too...”

“What are we going to do?”

“There’s nothing we can do...we’ll just have to deal with the consequences whatever they are”

They sat in silence for a while, until Taguchi spoke up, shuffling closer as he did.

“Hey, we’ll get through it, we haven’t done anything wrong...”

“But what if someone goes to the papers...to get in the room it must have been hotel staff...I’m sure they’d get a lot of money for a story like that...”

“Nobody would believe it, they’ve got no proof...”

“What about the CCTV cameras? They might show me coming in here...” Ueda suggested.

“That doesn’t prove anything...we’re friends, what’s wrong with us hanging out while we’re on tour...”

“I guess”

“We’ll be alright” Taguchi encouraged rubbing Ueda’s back.

There was silence again for a few minutes and then a sharp knock on the door. Taguchi hesitantly walked over to open it.

“Kame...who was it?” Ueda heard Taguchi ask, probably in response to the look on Kame’s face.

“Koki” came Kame’s reply “he figured out some way to unlock the door with a credit card, he wanted to sneak in and play a prank on you...I guess he’s the one that got a shock though...”

“What did he say?” Taguchi asked.

“He’s pretty freaked, but he knows what he saw...there’s no way you can cover it up now...maybe you should just tell him and Yucchi?”

Taguchi turned back to Ueda then and Ueda walked over.

“Where’s Koki now?” he asked.

“He’s in my room, I told him I’d come and see what was going on, and not to say anything to anyone until I got back”

Ueda nodded “Thank you”

Kame’s eyes narrowed for the first time “I didn’t think it was my place to explain anything to him...”

“You’re right...thank you” Ueda replied, trying to keep calm. “Would you mind taking Maru to your room too? We’ll be there in a minute.” Kame just nodded and walked away down the hall.


	14. July 12th 2012

“Is someone going to tell me what this is all about?” Maru asked grumpily as Kame let Ueda and Taguchi into his room.

“I told you, emergency group meeting, now everyone sit down” Kame replied.

“Right...so what’s wrong?” Maru pushed again once they were all sat down.

Kame looked expectantly at Ueda and Taguchi and Maru’s gaze followed his. Koki was staring pointedly in the opposite direction, he hadn’t looked at either of them since they’d entered.

Finally Taguchi cleared his throat “Actually, Uepi and I have something that we want to tell you...I don’t know exactly how to say it...or what you’ll think...” he glanced around, Maru was looking at him concerned, but Kame had turned to look away and Koki was still looking in the opposite direction. “Uepi and I...are sleeping together...”

Maru looked at him confused for a moment, as though waiting for the punchline, then he laughed anyway “What? Are you kidding?” He stopped laughing and then looked at Ueda for conformation, but the other man was staring at the floor.

“He’s not kidding.” Koki interjected, looking at Maru “I just walked in on him sucking Ueda off.”

“What?” Maru repeated with that confused expression again. “Ueda...what are they saying?”

Ueda looked up at Maru then, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment “It’s true...Kame knew all along, but when Koki found out tonight, we thought we should just come clean to you all...so yeah...we’re sleeping together...”

“What do you mean Kame knew all along?” Koki demanded at the same time Maru asked “What do you mean by sleeping together?”

It was Taguchi that answered first. “It started back in March...that night in Hokkaido when we had to share a room...”

“What started?” Maru butted in, a little more demanding.

“We had sex” Taguchi continued, not wanting to be vague about it “Kame found out about it the next morning but promised not to tell anyone even though he wasn’t happy about it. From there we kind of agreed we would keep seeing each other, just until the tour was over. But then after the tour...we just...we just wanted to keep doing it...”

Both Maru and Koki looked speechless.

“That’s why I was so grumpy during the tour...and then the fight that we had...” Kame spoke up, breaking the silence.

“What? But you’re fine with it now?” Koki snapped suddenly at Kame.

Kame was a little taken aback “No I’m not, and they know that, but they’re both too stubborn and pigheaded to listen to me when I tell them they’re making a mistake. I just thought they were less likely to get caught and screw things up if I just plead ignorance, seems I was wrong though” he snapped back as much at Ueda and Taguchi as at Koki.

“That wasn’t our fault Kame! We weren’t flaunting it about or anything, it’s his fault for trying to break into Taguchi’s room” Ueda snapped defensively, pointing a finger at Koki.

“If you hadn’t been lying to us in the first place...” Koki started back but Ueda cut him off.

“Yeah cos telling you about it has been so successful!”

“Stop it” Taguchi cut in “Please, just stop fighting...”

“Taguchi’s right, what’s done is done now, so we’re just going to have to learn to live with it” Kame started, he paused for a moment “And while we’re doing this....there’s something I should have told you guys about too.” All eyes turned to him. “The reason I was so against you two being together” he addressed Taguchi and Ueda “It’s because I’ve been there, and got caught, so I know what will happen...”

“Kazuya...what are you talking about?” Taguchi pressed him.

“Back when we were juniors...there was a time when I was kind of dating...Akanishi.” there was an audible gasp around the room. “We’d had crushes on each other for a long time and then when we were filming Gokusen...things...well you know how this stuff goes.” He paused to gather himself a little “Johnny found out shortly after we debuted and he told us to split up, or one or both of us would be fired.”

Taguchi swallowed hard “So you split up?”

Kame nodded then continued “He said he wanted us to be apart for a while, there was already all that hype among the fans...so...”

“So he sent Akanishi to L.A?” Koki finished for him. Kame nodded solemnly. “Then why were you so pissed at him too...you were just as pissed as the rest of us but it was your fault!”

“I had to pretend I was mad too, or you would have known, and Johnny said if anybody found out we’d be punished for it...”

“What about when he came back? Things were weird between you...” Taguchi pressed further.

Kame shook his head but there was a slight resentment in his voice “He changed, it seems while he was over there he had his fun and got it out of his system, when he came back he told me his feelings for me weren’t real, he was just young and stupid, and curious. And that was that...” There was silence again for a few minutes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you...he insisted we kept it a secret, and then when he left...honestly I just wanted to forget he even existed!”

“It’s ok, I can understand that...” Ueda spoke up, moving to place a reassuring hand on Kame’s shoulder.

“Well I don’t.” Maru snapped suddenly standing up “You make me sick, the lot of you.” And he headed for the door.

“Yucchi wait” Kame called after him.

“I can’t even look at you all right now.” Maru replied shortly, then left the room. There was silence again but for Ueda the worst thing was the look of hurt on Maru’s face as he’d left. Anger he could deal with, but knowing that he’d hurt his friend cut much deeper.

“Koki...” Taguchi started anxiously.

“I don’t know” Koki answered with a sigh. “This is all too much to take in right now...” he glanced at Taguchi for the first time. “I don’t even know how I feel about you anymore.” And slowly he left the room after Maru.

“Well that went well” Kame said dryly as the door clicked shut again.

“Kame, I’m sorry. If I’d known what you went through I wouldn’t have been so hard on you” Ueda said once the silence was too much again.

“Yeah, well I should have told you all sooner” Kame replied.

“Still...”

Kame got up suddenly. “Would you mind leaving now? I’m tired” he made his way to his bag, hunting around for his sleepwear.

“Thank you Kazuya, you’re a good friend” Taguchi said finally, and they left in silence. Ueda automatically followed Taguchi back to his room.

“What will happen now?” Ueda asked dejectedly once they were back safely inside.

“I don’t know” Taguchi replied with little hope in his voice “I get why they’re upset, they have every right to be...I guess we just need to give them some time and hope they come back around.” He walked over and wrapped his arms around Ueda, kissing his forehead gently. “Let’s not lose sleep over it, ok? Whatever happens, we’ll be alright.”

Ueda nodded into his chest and then pulled away “Can I stay here with you tonight?”

“Of course” Taguchi replied, a small smile playing on his lips, and then they each went to get ready before curling up in bed to sleep.


	15. July 18th 2012

Ueda waited nervously in the radio station, he had R-One recording today and it was the first time he would find himself alone with Maru after the other man had found out about his affair with Taguchi. Maru was still angry at them, he was speaking to Koki again, but he would only speak to the other three when necessary for work, which had made their concerts in Taiwan rather uncomfortable. Ueda hated the silence, he hated it more than fighting and arguing, at least then he would feel like some progress was being made, but like this he thought it was pointless.

He’d only tried to approach Maru once during the week to talk about it, but he’d been met with Maru’s stony reply of “I have nothing to say to you right now, I’m still angry at you and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.” Then the other man had walked away.

Koki at least was speaking to them again, though he avoided being around them both at the same time, and it was obvious their friendship had taken a blow from it. Koki had apologised for his behaviour though, saying that he just needed time to get used to the idea, and to get over all the lies.

The door opened and Ueda looked up but Maru merely nodded at him and then went to sit down in the corner furthest from him. Thankfully the radio show went smoothly, Maru was happy talking and even laughing with him and Ueda would have felt relieved if he didn’t know that Maru had been in so many dramas for a reason. As soon as the staff had left, the atmosphere turned cold again.

“Maru, can’t we talk about this?” Ueda pleaded “I hate this”

“It’s your own fault...” Maru replied coldly “I’m not ready to talk to you yet...”

“Why not? I don’t get why you’re still so angry with us...I know it’s hard to believe but...”

“You think I’m angry because you’re gay?” Maru snapped.

“I’m not...I’m not gay” Ueda answered a little pathetically.

“Whatever...it’s not even about that at all. Sure it’s kind of gross just because it’s Taguchi, and that’s...gross. But it’s not that. Ueda you lied to me...I thought we were best friends, I’ve always been honest with you and I’ve told you about tonnes of less than admirable stuff I’ve done. But you lied to me...for months. You sat there opposite me every week, we went out to eat and you didn’t say a thing, and you were fucking him the whole time...” Maru’s eyes were filling up and his voice was a little shrill.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to lie and hurt you...I was just scared somebody would find out...”

“Yeah, then what, they’d make you stop seeing each other? Well it’s nice to know how much you trust me... And it’s nice to know that what you have with him is more important to you than our friendship.” And he stormed from the room.

Ueda felt a lump rising in his throat, he tried to swallow it but the emptiness that was left in the room was almost suffocating. He quickly gathered his things and left, only realising when he was nearly there, that he’d driven to Taguchi’s apartment instead of his own. He pulled up outside the building and was just trying to decide where best to turn around when he felt a sudden, overwhelming need to see the younger man.

He got out of the car and tried the buzzer but there was no answer so he went back behind the safety of his tinted glass. He tried calling Taguchi to see where he was but there was no answer on the phone either. He knew he should just go home, but he just couldn’t face going home alone after this and so he waited. For two hours he waited.

He was barely aware of the time passing until there was a knock on his window, he looked up to find Taguchi trying to peer through it.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, surprised, when Ueda rolled down the window.

“Maru...said some stuff, I just didn’t want to be on my own.” He replied, blushing.

“Come on up ok? We’ll get a nice hot cup of tea and you can tell me about it.” Ueda nodded and followed him up in silence.

When they were seated comfortably with hot tea, Ueda finally seemed to loosen up. “It wasn’t anything bad really, nothing I wasn’t expecting at least. Just that he was upset and angry that I hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him, and to think he might rat us out...”

“I guess he has every right to feel that way, not just towards you of course, I used to think there was so much trust between the five of us.”

“I just feel so stupid...why didn’t I trust him? And Koki too, they’re both open minded, if we’d have just gone about it the right way...”

“I didn’t really figure it’d be such a big deal...I mean looking back on it, it’s obvious, but at the time...you know, it was what it was and I didn’t think it was enough that we needed to tell them.” Ueda nodded though he was staring away into the corner of the room. His stomach growled, managing to break the tension and make them both laugh. “Are you hungry?”

Ueda smiled a little shyly and nodded “Usually Maru and I go out to eat...but you know...”

Taguchi nodded. “Do you want to go out for something with me? Or do you want to stay in and I’ll cook?”

Ueda grinned “You cook. Something with fish.” Taguchi nodded and went to go make some food while Ueda got himself comfortable in front of the TV. They sat at the kotatsu again to eat. “You know, you’re getting pretty good at cooking.”

Taguchi beamed “Thank you, I got a few recipe books actually, just of like basic stuff, but I thought it might be nice to try a few new things, since I’ve been cooking more and stuff...”

Ueda nodded “Thank you, for making the effort for me...” his cheeks turned a little red “We could go out later and you could show me how to play billiards again, if you want to?”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like it?” Taguchi asked surprised, but secretly hoping.

“Yeah well, back then I didn’t like a lot of things I do now...”

Taguchi smiled “I’d really like that” and then he got up to clear away their dishes.

They were just settling down again on the sofa when the buzzer went. Taguchi got up to answer it.

“Taguchi, can I come up for a bit and talk to you” came Koki’s voice through the intercom.

“Ano...sure if you want to, I should let you know Uepi is here too though...” Taguchi answered tentatively.

“I see, I can come back later if you’re...you know...busy.”

“No, no, it’s not like that” Taguchi hastily amended. “I just thought, in case you weren’t comfortable...”

“I guess I should speak to him too.”

“Alright, I’ll buzz you in, the door will be open.” And he let Koki in. “You don’t mind right?” he added to Ueda.

Even though the door was open, Koki knocked to make his presence known before he entered. Taguchi motioned for Koki to sit on the sofa beside Ueda, before pulling out his beanbag to sit on.

“I didn’t...” Koki started, blushing “You weren’t...you know...”

“No we weren’t...thank you for coming over.”

Koki nodded then sat for a moment in thought “Maru called me a little while ago. He wanted to know how I was feeling about this whole thing...”

“And how do you feel about it?” Taguchi asked hesitantly.

Koki sighed heavily “I guess I’m just...you know it’s weird...like there’s two different parts to it. Firstly I’m pissed and upset that you both lied to us” there was a short pause “but I guess I can understand why you didn’t tell us...I wish you could have trusted us, but under the circumstances...so I guess I forgive you”

“Koki, thank you.” Taguchi smiled.

“Thank you” Ueda added, inclining his head a little in Koki’s direction.

“The other thing...this...your relationship, it’s just going to take some time to get used to. I mean...I never thought the two of you...I mean seriously? If I hadn’t seen it, I would never believe it”

”Sorry about that...if we’d have known someone might walk in...” Taguchi apologised grimacing.

“It was my bad...I shouldn’t have done that...”

“So are we...can we be ok now?” Ueda asked.

Koki nodded and smiled “It will take some time to get used to but...I think we’ll be alright” Taguchi beamed and rushed to throw his arms around Koki. Koki laughed and held his arm out to pull Ueda into the hug. “Don’t go thinking you can start with fan service now though, I mean what would you two even be...JunDa? Come on, who would be into that?”.

Taguchi laughed “Noted.”

When they finally pulled apart Ueda turned to Koki “Did Maru say anything? About how he was feeling?”

“Just that he’s still upset, but that he doesn’t want to lose your friendship over it. Maybe just give him a few days and let him come to you when he’s ready to talk it out.”

Ueda nodded “Thanks Koki”

“How are things with Kame?” Taguchi added.

“I’ve sorted things out with him, I was mostly pissed that he lied to us too, but I understand why he didn’t tell us, about the Akanishi thing and about you two, so I couldn’t really stay mad at him either. I think Maru was planning on going out with him later to talk.”

Taguchi nodded. “That’s good, I hope things can go back to normal soon...”

Koki nodded too, “Anyways, I’d better go, leave you two lovebirds alone...I’m meeting Juri for dinner anyway.”

“Thanks for coming to see us, I’m glad we can be ok again” and he let Koki out. Once the door was closed he went back to Ueda on the sofa “That went pretty well” he said as he flopped onto his knees on the sofa.

“Yeah, one down, one to go.” Ueda mused.

“He’ll come around” Taguchi smiled, much more hopeful than Ueda, and he pushed himself forward, leaning over the older man as he locked their lips together. He pushed gently until Ueda was laying back on the sofa and he moved to cover him, pushing his tongue a little more insistently into his mouth. “So...I think we have a little time to kill before we go out...I wonder what we should do.” He added a little smugly.

“You could start by shutting up” Ueda replied just as smugly and pulled Taguchi back into his mouth.


	16. July 25th 2012

Ueda was pleased he had a day off again, what he wasn’t so pleased about was the fact that he hadn’t seen Taguchi at all in six days. Taguchi had left Tokyo to do some filming in Hokkaido for his drama five days ago and Ueda had been busy with his variety show the evening before. He was secretly planning a little welcome home party for the two of them at Taguchi’s place that evening though. He glanced at the clock, twelve hours before he needed to be there to prepare. He was still laying in bed as he had no reason to get up early, but somehow he couldn’t get back to sleep either. Almost out of habit he rolled over and picked up a set of keys from his bedside cabinet, a spare set of keys for Taguchi’s apartment. He ran through them again, the key to get into the building, the key to the post box, the key to his apartment door, a key to his balcony and a key for his windows. There were two keychains attached too, one a goofy looking giraffe and the other a mouse wearing boxing gloves, he smiled as he wondered where Taguchi had managed to find such fitting characters.

His smile widened as he remembered the shy look on Taguchi’s face as he handed the keys over and his shy words “I’d really appreciate if you could call in sometime just to check on the mail and the plants and stuff...” Of course Ueda had gone over first chance he got, just to be nosy and snoop around Taguchi’s things, but other than the things he knew were there, there was no dirt to be dug up on him. Though Ueda did note, with interest, that the tingly lube was missing.

Ueda had tried to call a few times while Taguchi was away, but as Taguchi had expected there was no signal, they were filming somewhere deep in some forest and staying in the log cabins there. Still, Ueda had that night to look forward too, Taguchi’s plane wouldn’t get in until past 11pm so he had told Ueda he wouldn’t be home until likely around midnight, and not to wait up for him. Naturally Ueda had agreed and then immediately planned some kind of welcome home surprise.

He was still ironing out the final details when his phone buzzed beside him, it was a message from Maru asking if he could come over. Ueda hastily replied that he’d be happy to see him, and then he hurriedly showered and dressed. He had just shut the dogs in the kitchen with their food when Maru arrived and so he invited Maru in, and told him to make himself comfortable while he went to make tea.

“I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you recently” he started once Ueda sat down.

“Not as much of a jerk as I was.” Ueda replied.

“Maybe, but I’m kind of tired of us not talking too, I miss you.”

Ueda nodded “I miss you too, it’s not the same when we don’t go out to eat after R-one recording.”

Maru smiled “It’s not.” He paused for a short while. “I forgive you for keeping secrets from me...I was talking to Koki about it, and he made me realise that maybe it wasn’t the kind of thing you could just go round telling everyone about. And then I spoke to Kame too, and he said that you were both just trying to be sensible about it, well, however sensible you can be about...what you’re doing.”

“Thank you, I know that I could have trusted you I just...”

“Well as long as you trust me now...”

“I do, thanks Yuichi” there was a short silence in which they both sipped at their tea.

“So what’s the deal with you and Taguchi anyway? You said the other day you’re not gay...but didn’t he say you’d you know...had sex...”

Ueda considered it for a moment “I don’t really understand it. I mean I don’t think I’m gay, I see guys that I think are good-looking, but it’s not like I fantasize about getting into their pants or anything...but then with Taguchi it just...” he stopped, trying to think how to word it. “The first time it was a stupid drunken mistake, I was drunk, and horny and kind of pissed at him, and I think I might have even pushed him into it. But it was good...and we just figured if we both liked it, and we’re not doing any harm, then...why not? I mean we’re men, we have needs, and it sure beats going to clubs and trying to hook up with random girls...”

Maru nodded, “Then you’re still...you know...having sex?”

“Yeah. I mean really, we’re only doing it for the sex, it’s not like a proper relationship or anything...”

“Then you don’t...have feelings for him or anything?”

Ueda thought for a minute “I guess I do, like a little bit, I like him, and I do like his company and just being around him, and then of course there’s the physical side of it, but it’s not like...he’s not my boyfriend or anything...we’re not a couple.”

“So you’re not in love or anything?”

“We’re both trying to keep a check on our feelings...we know what our relationship is and that it can’t be more than that...we agreed if one of us starts to fall for the other then it’s over, we just stop before someone gets hurt...”

Maru nodded thoughtfully “That’s a good idea...maybe you are being sensible”

Ueda laughed “Well, yeah, we’re trying.”

There was another silence, but it was much more comfortable, Ueda found that opening up a bit to Maru was actually quite liberating.

“Isn’t it weird?” Maru asked finally, as though he’d been trying to hold the question back. “I mean it’s Taguchi...he must be the least sexy person in the world...if it was Kame then maybe, but Taguchi?”

Ueda laughed again “I know right? But he’s not like that, when it’s just the two of us he’s actually...he’s sweet, and caring and he can be pretty...seductive.”

Maru laughed “Gross” there another slight silence “If you don’t want to say then that’s cool, but who’s...you know...I mean he must be the ‘girl’ in it right?”

Ueda laughed a little again, but blushed “He was at first, but he convinced me to try it, and actually...I really like it like that too.”

“Eehh?!” Maru exclaimed in shock “Really?”

Ueda flushed darker “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” Maru just laughed.

“He’s away in Hokkaido now isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he gets back tonight though”

“Will you see him?”

Ueda nodded “I’ll go over for a bit, I imagine he’ll be pretty tired, but he always cooks for me lately, so I thought it’d be nice to do something for him.”

Maru raised his eyebrows slightly “Cooking each other meals, and taking care of him when he’s tired...doesn’t sound like a relationship at all.”

“Shut up” Ueda retorted, though he couldn’t deny it even to himself. Still it was only because they were friends, surely friends did that kind of thing right?


	17. July 25th 2012

Taguchi had text him a few hours ago, to let him know he was on his way back home as scheduled, but since it was late and he was tired, they would have to wait until tomorrow to meet. Ueda smiled smugly to himself as he typed his reply ‘Ok then. Sweet dreams’

There were vegetables and meat boiling away in some sauce over the stove and Ueda had rushed around, cleaning the apartment a little, to make it nice for Taguchi arriving home. He’d switched out all the lights and closed the curtains so that Taguchi wouldn’t see he was there from the street. And then he lit a few candles on the kotatsu, and poured some wine.

He heard the key in the lock and quickly rushed to greet the other man “Okaeri!”

“Tadaima” Taguchi said a little surprised “What are you doing here?”

“Surprise” Ueda smiled, pulling him into the living room once he’d removed his shoes. He then went to fetch their glasses of wine.

“What’s all this for?” Taguchi smiled brightly, clinking his glass against Ueda’s before taking a sip.

“I’m just glad you’re back is all” Ueda smiled back.

“Thank you Tatsuya” Taguchi grinned, smile even brighter, and the he leaned over to peck at Ueda’s lips.

“I’m making dinner” Ueda said shyly, when Taguchi pulled away “Do you want to shower or anything before eating?”

“I would love to shower. Tatsuya you wouldn’t believe this place we stayed in. It was so cute and cosy and back to nature looking, but the only running water was in this small block of toilets and showers, and it was barely even warm, and there were only like five showers between all of us and we had to share cabins and everything. Oh but the scenery there was beautiful. I think it’s going to come out looking amazing!”

Ueda laughed a little “Go take a shower and you can tell me all about it.” Taguchi nodded and beamed then went to go shower.

Ueda began putting the food out once he heard the shower stop. And Taguchi came to join him, interrupting him just once, to pull him in close for a tight hug and chaste kiss. As promised Taguchi talked animatedly throughout their meal about all the people he’d worked with and the place they stayed in, and Ueda somehow found his enthusiasm contagious.

After eating Ueda ran Taguchi a bath and insisted on rubbing the tension from his shoulders and neck as he relaxed in the hot water.

“Unn, that feels so good” Taguchi groaned as Ueda rubbed hard between his shoulder blades, and Ueda found himself biting his lip to try and push away the arousal rising up in him. Once he was satisfied that Taguchi was relaxed, he leaned the younger man back, running soapy hands sensually over the exposed skin out of the water. “Just a little lower” Taguchi smiled cheekily as Ueda’s nimble fingers ghosted over his chest.

Ueda laughed “I didn’t think you would need that kind of attention...I noticed your tingly lube was gone...”

Taguchi laughed in response “Yeah well I didn’t think I’d be sharing a cabin with three other men when I took it”

“I thought it wasn’t suited for travel, anyway” he said quirking an eyebrow at the younger man.

“I had to tape over the end of it and wrap in plastic bags...I’m pretty sure it still leaked though since my bag smells surprisingly like menthol.

Ueda chuckled, but he ran his hands a little lower “Well then, you must be feeling awfully frustrated around about now, right?”

Taguchi groaned “Lower” and Ueda complied, though he was slightly surprised to find already solid flesh meeting his hands. Taguchi groaned again as he made contact with it.

“You’re so hard” he mused and Taguchi whimpered softly.

“Why don’t you come and join me?” Taguchi suggested, though the seductiveness was spoiled by his breathlessness. Ueda hurried to do just that, slipping out of his clothes and sliding into the tub in front of Taguchi, back pressed into his chest.

Taguchi gasped, and his hands found the smooth flesh of Ueda’s stomach just as his lips found Ueda’s neck and shoulders and Ueda soon caught up with him. Ueda rocked back for a few moments into Taguchi’s body, but soon, needing more, he sat forward, turning around slightly.

“Lift your hips up a minute.” And when Taguchi complied he reached for the bubble bath. He coated Taguchi’s erection in a soapy layer, and then shakily he lifted himself up. He shuffled back a little so that he was hovering over Taguchi, and then as slowly as his legs would allow, he lowered himself onto Taguchi’s cock.

Even though he’d done this a few times already, the first few moments always knocked the breath from him in the worst way he could imagine. He let out a soft cry of pain but Taguchi was quick to pull him close, pulling him tight against his own body while his hands and lips resumed their previous motions.

“It’s ok baby, you’re doing really well. It’ll be better soon.” He murmured over the sound of Ueda’s shaky breaths.

As he slowly got used to the sensation, and the thick cock inside of him began to feel less like a red hot poker, Ueda tried shifting his hips slightly. Taguchi couldn’t hold back a loud groan. Ueda smiled and changed his position slightly, lifting each leg to hook it over Taguchi’s, so that he was in effect straddling the younger man with his back towards him, his hands resting on Taguchi’s knees where they stuck up out of the water.

Taguchi groaned “Fuck Tatsuya, you’re so tight.” And then he pulled the older man back to rest against his chest. Ueda groaned quietly and began thrusting his hips back and forth, almost unnoticeably, but it was enough to have Taguchi moaning louder, one hand clawing numbly at his shoulder while the other knotted into his hair. “I can’t hold on long, I haven’t had an orgasm in nearly a whole week.”

Ueda smiled coyly to himself “It’s ok, just enjoy it.”

They remained that way almost in silence but for the gentle moans and pants, and the bath water splashing gently with their motions, but too soon Taguchi’s hands lowered, gripping Ueda’s hips to hold them in place. “I can’t, just give me a few minutes ok?”

Ueda turned his head to kiss Taguchi gently but he didn’t try to move his hips and so Taguchi ran his hands over his smooth flesh, ending at his erection which he hastily took in hand, stroking fast.

“Oh fuck” Ueda moaned, breaking from the kiss, and he could feel the way he clamped down around Taguchi’s cock.

“Shit” Taguchi moaned in response “That feels so good.” And so he continued that way, stroking hard, and Ueda could feel himself drawing closer to his release.

“Junno...I’m going to come” he managed before pressing his lips hard onto Taguchi’s as his whole body convulsed. He gasped as wave after wave hit him, the bathwater splashing around him making the whole feeling strangely more lucid.

He waited long enough for his tremors to fade and then gently he started rocking his hips again.

“Baby” Taguchi said lightly, gripping his hips again “You don’t...I came too.”

Ueda turned to him surprised “Really?” Taguchi laughed and pulled him closer, kissing his lips tenderly.

“It feels amazing, when I feel you come.” Taguchi whispered dirtily as he pulled his lips away again.

“Hhmm” Ueda mused “That’s what kept me coming back in the first place, feeling the way you...” but he was cut off by his own moan as his words caused Taguchi’s cock to twitch still inside him.

“Maybe we should get out of this water now...” Taguchi laughed. Ueda nodded in agreement and pushed himself up, climbing out and wrapping himself in his, or rather, Taguchi’s guest, bathrobe. Taguchi copied him and they went to get cuddled up in bed, still naked. “Tatsuya...thank you for coming over...I didn’t expect you to, so it was a really sweet surprise.”

“Baka” Ueda reprimanded him “I can be sweet sometimes too...only don’t tell anyone that alright?”

“Promise” he pulled Ueda close “I like that it’s our little secret, it’s like this Tatsuya is my Tatsuya” he paused and then giggled a little “My baby.”

Ueda rolled his eyes but snuggled a little closer anyway “I wish you wouldn’t call me that...” Taguchi just laughed. There were a few moments of silence and then Taguchi puffed out a tired breath and within minutes he was asleep.


	18. September 19th - 20th 2012

It was that time of the year again, birthday time. Ueda and Nakamaru had been getting along as usual since the whole ‘lies and secrets’ incident, though after that day he’d come to Ueda’s house, Maru hadn’t asked about Ueda’s relationship to Taguchi again. Of course, seeing how it was actually becoming quite a big part of his life lately, Ueda couldn’t avoid talking about the other man, and while Maru didn’t outrightly object, it was clear that Maru didn’t exactly like talking about him.

In an effort to get their friendship back to where it was, Maru and Ueda had planned another trip away together. They were going to Hokkaido for three days, two nights to stay in an onsen resort that had been highly recommended. When they finally arrived Ueda flopped down onto one of the single beds.

“And you’re sure your boyfriend won’t mind us sharing a room...” Maru asked just a tad snidely.

“Not my boyfriend” Ueda replied, not even lifting his head from the pillow.

“Ueda, you’ve been sleeping with him like, exclusively, for six months.”

“It’s not exclusive...I just haven’t found anybody else I want to sleep with...” Ueda replied, rolling his eyes despite the fact that they were closed.

“And what about all the time you spend together? What’s your explanation for that?”

“That we’re friends...now shut up I want a nap.”

Maru huffed a little in annoyance but he lay down on his bed too, getting out his phone to check the news, holiday or not he still had research to do for Sunday’s Shuichi.

A short while passed and Ueda was snoring lightly, until his phone rang in his pocket. He looked at the caller ID and sighed but there was a light smile in it.

“Baka, I’m on holiday, don’t call me.” He snapped light-heartedly into the receiver, while he got up and headed to the bathroom for privacy.

“Don’t make plans for the 5th to the 8th of next month ok?” the younger man replied through the phone.

“Why not? Anyway, it’s my manager you should call...I might be busy.” He answered, admittedly a little intrigued.

“I already called and got your schedule changed, but don’t make personal plans”

“Baka, why did you do that? What are you planning?”

“I’m taking you away” he replied happily and Ueda knew the very smile that accompanied that tone. He smiled himself.

“Where to?”

“Secret” was Taguchi’s teasing answer. “Now go enjoy your time with Maru”

Ueda’s whine of “Juuuunno” was not heard as the younger man hung up. “Baka” he repeated to himself, but he couldn’t help smiling...some kind of secret vacation?

Maru raised an eyebrow at him as he re-entered the room.

“Taguchi” he said, as though answering Maru’s question “he says he’s got some trip away planned.”

Maru’s eyebrows rose further. “A romantic getaway.”

Ueda rolled his eyes again “Just stop it alright...he has every right to go on a break with me, just the same as you...if anyone is jealous I’d say it was you.”

“Grow up Ueda” Maru responded with a sigh and he reached for his headphones.

“Hey, aren’t we going to do something? Go out for food at least?” Ueda asked, Maru pouted but then he rubbed his stomach.

“Yeah, I’m actually really hungry now.” And so they got up and headed out.

September 20th 2012

They had another pleasant day at the resort, they went into the surrounding town to look at the little souvenir shops, Ueda was pleased with his purchase of a keychain of a small games controller. On the morning after Taguchi had arrived back in Hokkaido, Ueda had readied himself to leave, turning to him as he was about to hand over the keys he had borrowed. Taguchi’s face had been slightly flushed as he pushed Ueda’s hand back “Why don’t you hang on to them, you know, in case I’m away again, or in case you want to come by while I’m not home sometime.” Ueda had nodded happily.

And so now Ueda was away, he’d entrusted his spare set of keys to Taguchi so that the younger man could look after his dogs. He already planned to return the gesture by asking Taguchi to keep his set of keys, but he wanted to buy some kind of cute keychain along the same lines as the ones Taguchi had given him. The keys already had a boxing glove as a chain and Ueda thought the controller would fit perfectly.

“Will I get a gift when you go away with him?” Maru asked as Ueda took out the keychain to look at it again.

“Maybe...depends where we go” he replied, tucking it away in his bag again, and rolling his eyes.

Maru didn’t mention Taguchi again until late that night when they were enjoying one of the open air hot springs. Ueda was laying his head back, staring at the stars, while Maru was excitedly looking around at their surroundings.

“What’s wrong with you Ueda...it’s like you haven’t even noticed there are two really hot, naked girls right over there.” Maru said, slightly annoyed as he glanced back over at the girls in the next bath along.

“They’re not that hot” Ueda replied “But if you want to go for it, then go talk to them yourself”. Ueda was usually the very excitable flirt when it came to girls, and he had the feeling that Maru wanted to use that side of him to have an excuse to go talk to them.

“It’s not that” Maru snapped back defensively. “Just, if it’s not exclusive then why shouldn’t you have some fun flirting with them? You said yourself you’re not gay, and they totally are hot.”

“Why does it matter so much to you?” he snapped back, finally raising his head.

Maru looked at him almost fiercely, as though he wanted to say something hurtful. But then he let out a long breath and sagged a little. “You don’t even see how much you’ve changed...how much he’s changed you. You say it’s not a relationship and you don’t love him or anything...so why is he the only thing you even seem to care about these days?!”

Ueda’s patience was wearing thin, he felt like Maru had been on his back about it the whole trip. So what if he liked being with Taguchi? “Why do you even care so much?” he snapped again.

“I just hate seeing you like this, trying to act all cool and flippant about it when you’re not. If you’re in love with him then just say it already!” Maru almost shouted back.

Ueda ground his teeth a little, stalling to find the most appropriate reaction to this, but it seemed rationality had completely left him. “Fine, let’s go talk to the girls” it was clearly not the reaction Maru was expecting. “come on, I’m going for the brown haired one, how many times do you want me to fuck her before you believe I’m not in love with him?”

Maru’s jaw fell a little “Ueda...I didn’t mean...” but Ueda had already got up and started wading to the other end of the bath, closer to the girls.

“Are you coming or not?” he shot back, just before reaching the girls and greeting them with his brightest smile.


	19. September 21st 2012

He glanced at the time on his screen before answering the incoming call. It was after 1am, and it worried him a little that Ueda should be calling him this late, especially as he was away in Hokkaido.

“About time” Ueda snapped when he sleepily answered, he’d gone to bed early as he had filming for a variety show early the next morning.

“Tatsuya, what’s wrong? Why are you calling?” he rolled over, the phone in his hand.

“Firstly because I’m pissed at you” was his confusing reply.

“What did I do? I’m not even in the same prefecture as you...”

“I’m pissed because if it wasn’t for you, I could have got laid tonight...”

Taguchi felt suddenly more awake “What? I’m sorry...I didn’t...”

“And she was pretty hot too, skinny, big boobs, nice smile...and she’s gone now and it’s your fault.” He cut in.

“You didn’t have to turn her down, I know we’ve been kind of...I mean, but we never said we couldn’t see other people...” he felt a little bit of guilt that Ueda had missed on something on his account, but he also felt almost overwhelmingly relieved that Ueda hadn’t slept with her after all.

“I know...but I still feel guilty anyway...so that’s the second reason I’m calling...I’m sorry Junno, I almost went through with it.” There was something gentler in his voice now.

“Baka” Taguchi replied, he couldn’t think of another way to express his feelings, his chest felt swollen with happiness at Ueda’s concern “It’s ok...and even if you had...”

Ueda laughed but it sounded almost bitter “I couldn’t have...”

“Tatsuya, of course you...”

“No, I couldn’t...” Ueda cut him off again “I tried, and I actually, physically couldn’t...”

“Couldn’t what?” Taguchi pressed, getting a little concerned.

“I couldn’t...you know, Junno don’t make me say it...”

Taguchi realised it suddenly and he snorted a little in surprised laughter “You couldn’t get it up?”

“It’s not funny!” Ueda snapped, and he rushed to quiet his chuckling “It was humiliating! She was there with my cock in her fucking mouth and I just...I kept thinking about you, and it just felt really wrong....and I couldn’t even...”

“Aww, baby, maybe you were just tired...” Taguchi tried to console him.

“That better be it Junno...I swear, if you’ve broken me...”

He couldn’t help laughing a little again “As soon as you get back I’ll give you a thorough check over...I did play a doctor after all, and I even kept the coat and everything.”

“Junno, you’re a freak, you know that right?” Ueda teased, but Taguchi could tell he was being playful.

“Hhhmm” he mused “so where are you now?”

“I’m in the hotel room...why?” he heard the hesitation in the other man’s voice.

“And where is Maru?” he continued.

“I don’t know...out, getting laid probably”

“It must have been pretty frustrating for you...getting that nice girl all ready to go and then...not getting anything out of it...”

“Junno...just what are you trying to do?”

He couldn’t help chuckling a little, “I just thought...since you woke me up and all...maybe we could help each other get back to sleep...you know...the way we used to...” There was silence and then a light puff of breath.

“As you already pointed out...we’re in different prefectures...”

Taguchi grinned though he knew the other man couldn’t see him. “That doesn’t mean we can’t...help each other out...” there was a short silence “Tatsuya, tell me what you’re doing...”

He could almost hear Ueda’s eyes rolling “I’m sitting on a bed in a hotel room, talking on the phone to an idiot...”

He couldn’t help laughing a little but he still wanted to push his point “What are you wearing?”

“Junno, I’m wearing my pyjamas...I’m sharing a room with Maru...”

“Take them off, you already told me Maru isn’t there...”

Ueda snorted “Yeah, cos that’s what will make this night less humiliating for me...Maru walking in on me with my pants round my ankles and jerking off for you over the phone.”

He had a point, Taguchi thought, but then how could he back out now when Ueda had already planted the mental image of him jerking off in his head. “Go to the bathroom”

“What?” was Ueda’s rather snappy reply.

“Come on baby, please, go lock yourself in the bathroom...”

He heard Ueda’s sigh then some shuffling and the flick of a light switch, then eventually the click of a lock. “Ok, I’m in the bathroom now...”

He was slightly shocked that Ueda had complied so quickly, he was expecting to at least have to persuade him a little more.

“Take your pants off...” he tried his luck. Ueda snorted “Come on baby, I’ll make it worth your while...”

He heard Ueda sigh again “Junno, seriously...we aren’t doing this...”

“Then why are you locked in the bathroom?” He smiled to himself, he knew he’d already gotten past the hard part, getting Ueda to humour him, now he just needed to get the other man horny. “Just close your eyes and picture I’m there with you, imagine my lips, nipping gently just under your jaw, you know that place you like, can you feel it?”

He was still a little apprehensive, since he couldn’t see the other man he didn’t know if Ueda was doing as he asked or just rolling his eyes, trying to stifle his laughs. When there was no response other than heavy breathing, he continued “Run you hand down your chest, the way I would do it, smooth it out over your abs, baby, tell me how it feels? Tell me how smooth your skin is.”

He could hear Ueda’s breaths heavy and wondered briefly if Ueda was doing as he asked. “Junno...I feel ridiculous...” he almost whined.

“It’s just me...you don’t need to be embarrassed about anything in front of me...” Taguchi tried to comfort him, he didn’t want to push Ueda into anything he didn’t want, but at the same time, he really wanted this, he could already feel himself beginning to strain against the front of his boxers. “Baby, I’m taking my boxers off, I’m already hard...Just thinking about you touching yourself is making me so hot.”

“Junno...” came Ueda’s whined protest again.

He already had his boxers down, he pulled them from the ends of his feet and moved his hand down to his cock, he hissed lightly as he wrapped his hand around it “I’m stroking myself now, I’m imagining you’re here with me, it’s you touching me and” he gasped a little at his own mental image “we’re kissing...”

“Junno” Ueda whined again, but this time it was more breathy.

“Are you getting hard baby?”

“Yeah...”

He could sense there was more Ueda wanted to say, to question maybe, so he pushed on before the other man could get distracted “I want to fuck you...I want to feel how tight you are” there was a quiet whimper from the other end of the phone “Do you want to feel me inside of you?”

There was another whimper “Junno, how...?”

“Prepare yourself...tell me what you’re doing...tell me how it feels...” he groaned, he could picture it already.

“I don’t...” came Ueda’s almost shaky voice “I’ve never done that to myself before.”

Taguchi bit back a moan “It’s ok baby, I’ll help you. Did you take off your pants?”

“I’ll take them off now” came the quiet voice, and then some quiet shuffling.

“Do you have your hair conditioner in there?”

“Yeah” Ueda answered.

“Get it now” there was more shuffling “Put the phone down for a minute while you spread some on your fingers” he heard the clinks and shuffles that suggested the older man was doing as he asked.

“Ok...Junno, are you sure about this?”

Taguchi groaned, “Please...It’ll feel good...” there was a quiet noise that he assumed was consent so he pushed on “Lift one of your legs onto the side of the bath” he groaned again in anticipation “Now move your hand down, between your legs” he could hear Ueda’s deep breaths down the phone “Baby...push your finger inside”

There was a sharp intake of breath “Junno...”

“How does it feel?” he gripped his cock harder, moving down slowly as he let out a shuddery breath.

“It’s...” there was a quiet groan “Junno, it feels strange doing it to myself...”

“It’s ok baby, just imagine it’s me, feel my finger moving in and out of you” his own hand moved faster “are you ready for another one?”

He could hear Ueda’s quiet groan “Yeah...”

“Do it” he moaned “Put another finger inside and move them in and out” There was a louder groan “Fuck, it’s so hot hearing you finger yourself” and he couldn’t stop his hand from moving faster, groaning as he pushed himself closer. “I want to fuck you now”

Ueda groaned loudly “I want you to fuck me...” and then he moaned shakily “I need more, Junno I want to feel you inside me.”

“Baby, put another finger in, imagine it’s me” he heard the groan and knew the other man was doing it “imagine it’s my cock”

“Shit” Ueda moaned “It feels so good...”

Taguchi leaned over for his drawer, taking out a bottle of lube and pumping a little into his hand “I can feel it too, shit...so tight...”

There was a sudden louder noise, a cry, almost nearing a scream “Oh Junno...it’s so good” and he gasped again “Junno...I think I found my prostate”

“Yeah” Taguchi moaned in response “rub it, stroke over it hard” the noises on the other end of the line told him that the other man was obeying.

“Please...” Ueda moaned after a few minutes “It feels so good, but I need to touch my cock...”

Taguchi groaned “No baby...just...faster, feel me fucking you harder”

Ueda cried out “I can’t...please...let me come...”

“Keep fucking me, come on baby, harder”

“I can’t” Ueda almost sobbed.

“You can, rub hard into you prostate, just like I would do it...” There was that cry again.

“Junno please...I need to...”

He could feel his own release nearing but he wanted to hear it first, hear the way Ueda lost control fucking himself with his own fingers, doing it all for him. “Shit, I’m so close baby, come with me...”

“I can’t” Ueda cried again, but only a few seconds later he let out a strangled scream, there was a loud clatter that Taguchi could only imagine was the phone clattering to the floor. He gripped tighter around himself, the way he would feel it if Ueda had indeed been surrounding him, and he strained to hear the noises of Ueda still grunting, over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears.

With a final stroke he threw his head to the side, muffling his own scream against his pillow as he came, hot and hard, over his own fingers and stomach.

He held the phone tightly to his ear as his breathing calmed, he could still hear the low, quiet groans from the other end of the line. Eventually there was more clatter and then Ueda’s breathy voice. “Junno, are you still there?”

“I’m here baby, that was fucking hot”

Ueda chuckled then groaned softly “That felt amazing, I didn’t even know I could do that to myself...”

Taguchi chuckled back “Did you drop the phone?”

Ueda laughed “Yeah, like my whole body spasmed, I nearly fell over.

Taguchi laughed loudly at the mental image “Baka” there was a short silence as they both controlled their laughter “And you didn’t touch your cock?”

“Not until just after, but then when my other hand was free I couldn’t...” he stopped, clearing his throat shyly.

Taguchi laughed lightly again “Oh god, that was one of the sexiest things ever, I can’t even believe how hot you make me, even just over the phone.”

“It was pretty hot”

“And having you follow my instructions” he groaned “Shit, I’m going to get horny again.”

Ueda laughed “Baka, I can’t go again, I’m worn out...and I need to go get cleaned up” he chuckled again “I got come everywhere...” Taguchi laughed loudly, but then Ueda’s voice was suddenly sharp and quieter “I think Maru is back. I’ll go shower...”

“Ok baby, goodnight.”

“Night Junno” Ueda whispered back and then the line went dead.


	20. September 23rd 2012

Ueda had arrived home from Hokkaido the previous day. He’d secretly been hoping that Taguchi would be awaiting him, bearing food and ready for sex, but to his dismay he found only six excited dogs and small note from said man.

In the note he explained that he wanted to come over but something had come up with work, and he’d likely be going out with some colleagues afterwards. It did however say that there was food in the fridge that just needed re-heating when Ueda was hungry.

This morning he’d been planning on sleeping in, but a message from Taguchi at some ungodly hour woke him. ‘I hope your schedule isn’t too busy today, it was difficult but I think I can fit you in for an appointment.’ He rolled his eyes, right, the doctor thing...had he really agreed to that?

Luckily his schedule wasn’t too busy and at 6pm he found his way to Taguchi’s apartment as agreed.

“Good Evening, I’m glad you could make it on such short notice” Taguchi greeted him as he entered, though Ueda was a little distracted by the smart suit he wore under a long white lab coat. On his face sat thick rimmed glasses and a stethoscope hung around his neck. “Please take a seat Ueda-san, I’ll be with you in just a moment.” And smiling he wandered off down the hallway.

Ueda took a seat on the sofa as instructed but he was little nervous, as though he was here to read for an audition without being given a script. It didn’t help that Taguchi looked oddly striking in that outfit. He’d seen the drama, seen Taguchi looking like that but it was the first time he thought he looked...hot, in it. He shrugged out of his jacket, just as Taguchi re-entered, a small medical looking bag in his hand.

“How can I help you today?” He asked, overly polite, and something about it just felt wrong.

Taguchi sat down beside him and placed a hand subtly on his knee, Ueda jumped a mile. Taguchi looked at him a little curiously but he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender before putting them down and lightly tapping the sofa beside him.

Ueda’s heart was beating a little fast, he didn’t like this one bit. He shook his head at Taguchi and when the younger man’s brow furrowed he cleared his throat. “It’s just weird...don’t...don’t put on an act like that ok? You can do your little cosplay thing if you want, but I still want it to be you...”

When he spoke again his voice was back to normal “Ok baby, it’s just me...” Ueda nodded and then gingerly sat back down on the sofa but he didn’t feel completely relaxed until Taguchi’s face split into that ridiculous dorky grin. “Actually, I’m kind of glad I’m just me...it’d be weird if a stranger did this right?” And with waiting for a reply he leaned forward, capturing Ueda’s lips in an almost frantic kiss.

Ueda did his best to kiss back, even as he was pushed back uncomfortably against the armrest of the sofa, but he pulled away panting a little once he felt himself hardening, he spoke to stall the younger man “I thought you were going to give me a check up?”

Taguchi grinned manically again “Of course...first off how about we get you out of your clothes?” And without waiting again he pulled Ueda’s t-shirt up from the hem and over his head.

“I’m not going to be able to get out of these pants with you sitting on top of me you know” Ueda teased. But Taguchi just smiled and sat back, allowing Ueda to tug of his pants.

“The underwear too” Taguchi grinned.

Ueda raised an eyebrow in amusement “My doctor doesn’t usually ask me to do that...”

“I’m going to do a whole lot to you that I hope your doctor doesn’t do” he replied almost coyly and Ueda couldn’t resist the invitation.

He stripped out of his underwear and when Taguchi stood up and pointed to the sofa he obediently lay down. “What would you like me to do now, Taguchi-sensei?”

He was a little alarmed by the slightly evil glint in Taguchi’s eyes, but the full force of it was ruined by the flush of arousal on his cheeks.

Taguchi knelt down by the side of the sofa and for a few minutes he rummaged around in the medical bag beside him. “If we’re going to do this, we should do it properly and thoroughly right?” he smiled almost menacingly as he slipped on a pair of latex gloves, Ueda’s cock twitched in anticipation. “Though honestly, I can see already that your little...problem, is no longer an issue” and he smirked as he glanced towards Ueda’s erection.

“Shut up...” Ueda half snapped back, but he tried not to let his mind linger on the fact that yes, Taguchi could turn him on remarkably easily, and strangely, little else could recently.

Taguchi smiled, smugly pleased with himself “But let’s give you a check over just to be sure, ok, say ‘Aaahhh’”.

Ueda rolled his eyes but did as he was asked, opening his mouth wide as he begun ‘Aaahhhh’ but somewhere it changed into a soft pleased moan of ‘Aahh’ as Taguchi leaned down, licking slowly across Ueda’s tongue with his own. He couldn’t help the jolt of pleasure it sent south or the slight buck of his hips as Taguchi’s tongue swirled against his.

He felt almost dizzy, strangely helpless with Taguchi leaning over him that way, dominating what was now becoming a deep kiss, still more tongue than lips. He broke away gasping, a little embarrassed by the flushed mess he was turning into already, but he couldn’t help a groan as he felt the soft latex of the gloves connect with the skin of his collarbone.

Taguchi ran his hand softly, almost ticklishly soft, across Ueda’s chest and collarbone, zig-zagging it downwards until it ran over a sensitive nipple. He ran a finger gently around it a couple of times and then leaned in to replace hand with mouth. Ueda groaned, writhing a little under the delicate licks and then the tight pressure as Taguchi lips closed around it, sucking.

“Yep, that one seems to be working fine...how about the other one?” Taguchi said, his voice a strange mix of smug and delighted, and then as suggested he moved his mouth to the other nipple, first licking it, and then sucking, before taking it gently between his teeth.

Ueda cried out, it was right between painful and too pleasurable, but it felt almost perfect, teasing, pushing him to his limit.

Just as he was relaxing into the sensation it was removed, the lips sliding away and running further down. Ueda’s hips jerked in anticipation, but the mouth stopped short, tongue darting out to lick the hard muscle of his abs instead. He let out a frustrated groan but Taguchi just chuckled against the toned flesh, lips moving to kiss it again.

Once enough attention had been paid there, Taguchi’s mouth moved further down, a gentle sweep of his tongue, teasingly around the bellybutton and then down, mouthing the taut skin, and drawing gasped moans from Ueda as he avoided touching the area where Ueda wanted it most.

Ueda gave another groan of protest when Taguchi’s tongue slipped lower, moving to the side to lick a wet stripe across the soft skin where Ueda’s leg joined his body, completely bypassing all areas of interest along the way.

Taguchi chuckled again, “Baby, you look like you’re getting pretty hot, maybe I should take your temperature?” Ueda opened his eyes but didn’t respond, he didn’t care what Taguchi did, just as long as he did something. Taguchi beamed and went back to his bag on the floor beside him. After a moment rustling around he came up with a rather old fashioned looking glass thermometer, and Ueda had to admit he looked rather professional as he held it up as though checking for something. “Ready?”

Ueda opened his mouth pointedly but Taguchi just pouted and shook his head, now he understood what this had to do with the kinky foreplay. He swallowed hard as Taguchi picked up a bottle of lube and spread a small amount on one end of the thermometer.

“Roll onto your side, knees hugged up to your chest” he instructed and Ueda immediately obeyed, he knew one wrong move with one of those things and there could be trouble, and he for one did not want to end up in the emergency room trying to explain why he had half a glass thermometer up his ass.

He couldn’t stop the moan escaping his lips as the thermometer slid inside, cold and hard, and then he moaned again as he felt Taguchi twirl the thin piece of glass inside him. It wasn’t thick enough to give him any real pleasure, and he could tell Taguchi’s movements with it were cautious so there was no real stimulation other than the twirling, but he found that just the feeling of having something inside of him felt strangely, overwhelmingly arousing.

Too soon he felt the thermometer slide out, but the lack of stimulation didn’t last long as a gloved finger pressed lightly against his opening, running small circles around it until Ueda was moaning again, trying to push back against it.

“We’d better move onto the prostate exam now” Taguchi announced then, but Ueda could hear his voice thick with arousal and he knew even Taguchi couldn’t take much more, the teasing would have to end soon. He nodded furiously, desperate for more feeling, and soon a slick finger was pressing inside, Taguchi’s groan indistinguishable from his own as his muscles clamped down against the intrusion. “It’s ok baby, relax” Taguchi cooed quietly, placing a gentle kiss against his hip.

He liked to hear those words, they weren’t necessary, he knew it was ok, he trusted Taguchi and he knew it was just a reflex reaction, but he liked to hear them anyway, the sweetness of them, filled with unnecessary concern.

As soon as the muscles relaxed, the finger slipped in further before pulling back, pushing back in again slowly until the muscles were loose enough for a second finger to join it. He groaned at the added thickness, part of him wanted more, but he knew it was enough like this, the soft burn of the friction and the fire that lit up inside as the fingers curled.

He moaned loudly, muscles contracting again as the fingers continued to rub over that spot hard. His fingers clenched hard into the sofa cushions as he pressed one to his face to mask the escalating volume of his voice. It was too much, he couldn’t move, limbs locked in tension from the constant renewed pleasure, but at the same time he needed just a little more.

“Please” he cried eventually, his head feeling dizzy “Please Junno”

“Sensei” Taguchi corrected, he voice deep and breathy.

“Sensei, please...”

“Please what?”

He didn’t know, he didn’t know what it was he needed, he just knew he needed something, he shook his head, groaning “Please, just...please” he almost sobbed.

The pressure vanished suddenly, and he gasped in lungfuls of air, his body melting almost, but his relief didn’t last long before he was pulled back and pushed up, manoeuvred onto his hands and knees. He heard the sound of a zipper, but Taguchi didn’t even wait long enough to take his trousers off before climbing up onto the sofa behind him.

He felt the air knocked out of him as Taguchi pushed inside in one long, slow thrust, he cried out, feeling stretched beyond his limit. Taguchi waited, giving him time to adjust but he felt as though it would never happen, he’d never done it in this position before and he could hardly believe how different it felt, how much deeper, how much bigger Taguchi felt.

“I know baby” Taguchi whispered, running hands soothingly over his back before leaning down and wrapping an arm around his chest, pulling their bodies flush together “Are you ok? Can I move?”

It still burned but he knew it would be better soon, and so he nodded, taking a deep breath as Taguchi started his motions, just slow shallow thrusts until he adjusted.

He concentrated on his breathing, on relaxing himself around Taguchi, and though it took longer than usual it eventually happened.

“I’m ok” he said quietly, turning his head to the side to seek out Taguchi’s mouth, but the angle made kissing difficult. In response Taguchi sped up a little, pulling out a little further each time before plunging all the way back in.

“Spread your legs a little” Taguchi whispered to him, and he complied, letting his legs fall open and then when he felt Taguchi’s hand pressing gently between his shoulders he dropped down to his elbows, allowing Taguchi to hover further over him, one hand still around Ueda’s chest while the other held him up from it’s position on the arm rest in front of Ueda.

The angle changed everything and Ueda’s body jerked as the next thrust brushed just right, just hard enough over his prostate. Taguchi must have sensed he’d got it right, since from then on each thrust stroked him perfectly, again and again, even as the thrusts sped up and Ueda’s body began to tremble with the pressure building up under his skin.

“Faster” he groaned when he felt he needed more again and Taguchi complied, hips bucking into him faster, harder, just right. “Please” he groaned when he felt his climax approaching but when Taguchi did nothing he shuffled a little, trying to move his weight so that he could reach down with his own hand.

“Don’t” Taguchi groaned into his ear and he gripped Ueda’s hand in his own as his thrusts sped up, pushing harder.

Ueda almost sobbed “Please, please Junno, I need it...”

“No you don’t baby”

Ueda nodded his head, “Please, it’s too much” and it was, it felt incredible, but too powerful, the feeling of the pressure too strange and too much to handle. “It feels like I need to pee”

He felt Taguchi’s smile against his shoulder as the younger man continued his actions, bucking hard into him. “It’s ok, you don’t...just relax and let go”

He shook his head, “Like this...I’ll pee...please, let me touch myself...” and he tried to move his hand again, but Taguchi’s grip wouldn’t let it budge.

“You won’t, it’s ok...just enjoy it” but when Ueda shook his head again he felt Taguchi’s weight shift, stopping his actions for a few moments as he released Ueda’s arm and stripped off the lab coat. He half folded, half crumpled the fabric and then lay it down on the sofa under Ueda’s body. “It’s fine, you won’t make a mess either way, so just relax ok.”

Having the lab coat there hardly made Ueda feel any more comfortable about the idea of peeing, but strangely the thought of dirtying it with his semen was arousing. He felt his cock twitch, sparks of pleasure fizzling through his groin and eventually he nodded, encouraging Taguchi to continue.

He hadn’t even realised how hard he’d been clenching his muscles, trying physically to hold himself back, but as Taguchi pressed sloppy kisses into his shoulder, his arm curling back around his chest to rub soothingly over his abs, he felt the tension leaving him.

“That’s it baby, just let it happen” Taguchi almost whispered into his ear.

As the tension flooded out of his muscles it left behind a warm tingle, getting hotter, burning towards his abdomen and then like flames in his groin, licking along his erection that he was sure must be leaking streams of precome by now.

He felt Taguchi’s thrusts speed up, could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to hold off, to wait, and Ueda groaned, the idea of it pushing him further, the sounds sending sharp throbs of arousal through his body. He could feel it building, the pressure mounting up and he just needed that little push, just something.

“Come with me...” Taguchi grunted, and the feeling of the hard cock inside him pulsing with release was just enough.

His he felt it first deep inside, then tearing through him to his extremities, slow and forceful, letting him feel every blissful second as the white behind his eyes almost blinded him.

As it faded he was left with the feeling of being turned inside out, he could barely hold himself up long enough to glance between his legs at the sticky, white streaks he’d left across the lab coat and part of the sofa, before flopping down carelessly.

As Taguchi slid out of him, he groaned in discomfort before coughing against the rawness of his throat. “You’re so noisy when you’re the uke” Taguchi said, smirk audible in his voice as he lowered himself down to rest atop Ueda’s back. And then he sighed, rubbing his cheek along Ueda’s shoulder blade before kissing it gently “I missed you while you were away baby...”

Ueda rolled his eyes though he knew Taguchi couldn’t see, but as the younger man continued to place soft kisses over his back, he squirmed, face lightening into an involuntary grin “I missed you too baka”


	21. October 5th 2012

Ueda was rather annoyed that Taguchi had booked such an early flight. He’d spent the day of his birthday working during the day, and then he’d gone home to his parents’ house for a quiet little family party with them in the evening. He’d been too drunk to drive afterwards and so he’d crashed at his parents’ house for the night. Luckily, Taguchi had seemed to expect him to sleep in, so he called to wake Ueda early the next morning, giving him plenty of time to drive back to his apartment before the taxi arrived.

He entered his apartment to find Taguchi there already, a small suitcase at his feet.

“I’ve already packed everything you’ll need” the younger man grinned excitedly.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” Ueda replied still a little annoyed, not to mention hung over.

He could tell Taguchi was bursting to tell him anyway, and he couldn’t help but smile as said man stood up and walked over, he reached into his pocket and pulled something out “Happy Birthday baby” he said quietly before pressing a long kiss onto Ueda’s lips and sliding the paper into Ueda’s hand.

He looked down at the paper, a plane ticket “Hachijo-jima?” Of course he knew of it, but he’d never visited the island before “Well that’s not so bad...” He’d been excited about the vacation naturally, but he’d also been a little apprehensive since it was Taguchi planning the trip “I was half expecting we’d be going to some video game convention or something.”

Taguchi laughed “I did think about it, but then I thought I should at least take into consideration what you might like to do...since it is your birthday. Actually, though...I hope you don’t mind I did already plan most of our itinerary...just there were some things I needed to get sorted out in advance. “

“That sounds exciting” 

Taguchi pecked his forehead lightly “Go get yourself sorted out, I’ll take the dogs for a quick walk and feed them, did you leave your key with your mum so she can check on them?”

“I did” Ueda smiled back and he shuffled off to the bathroom to shower and change his clothes. As he went about he noticed a few of his things missing, the things Taguchi must have packed, and he was busy trying to deduce what their activities would be based on the things that were missing when Taguchi returned.

“What are you doing?” Taguchi laughed when he saw the concentration on Ueda’s face.

“Trying to figure out what you have planned for us...” Ueda smiled “I’m really excited.”

“More excited than you were when Maru took you away?”

“Of course...when we went away there were only onsens...but considering you’ve packed not only my swimming trunks and sunglasses, but my hiking boots and backpack...I’d say this is looking like the more adventurous trip...” he smiled at the grin on Taguchi’s face “and I’m kind of hoping there’ll be lots of steamy sex planned for this one...”

Taguchi grinned smugly “That was certainly part of my plan”. He couldn’t tell who had closed the gap between them but Taguchi’s lip were suddenly hot on his and he sighed as he melted into them, then gasped lightly as the younger man’s teeth sank gently into his bottom lip and his tongue swept teasingly over the sensitive skin. Too soon Taguchi withdrew, his breathing slow but deep “The taxi will be here in ten minutes.”

Ueda nodded and reluctantly pulled himself away from the embrace, turning away to try and calm the fluttering in his chest, before he went back to readying himself to leave.

Once they were seated comfortably on the plane, Taguchi passed a small guide book to Ueda “We should be there in about an hour so if you want to have a little look and see what kinds of things we can do...I’ve already got Sunday fully booked up, but there’s the rest of today and tomorrow for us to do stuff, and maybe Monday morning before we fly back.”

Ueda took the booklet and started flicking through it, the scenery looked beautiful. “You’d planned for us to go hiking right?”

“That’s not what we’re doing Sunday, we’ll go for a little scuba lesson on the morning and the evening I have other plans, but that’s a surprise...but I thought maybe Saturday would be best for hiking. I had a look at our options and it looks like there’s lots of different, less populated routes around Mt. Mihara and there are some nice waterfalls and things around that area...so unless there’s anything else you’d rather do...”

“No, that sounds good...I’d like that...so we’ll do that tomorrow?”

“I thought that would be best, so we can get well rested and ready for it you know...I thought maybe today we’d take it a bit easier...”

“Good idea” Ueda nodded “Did you have anything in mind?”

“Not really...there’s still lots to do, there’s a lot of history on the island....like museums and old world war 2 trails and tours, also there’s lots of different food and alcohol we could sample, and then onsens and black beaches and things...but it’s your birthday, you should get to decide some stuff...”

Ueda laughed “It’s good that you’ve looked into this so much though, makes it easier for me...” he stopped to think for a little while “Well I’m hungry so how about we have something to eat when we get there, then get settled in, then we could have a look around, maybe visit the museum or something, and then we can have a nice quiet night with some more yummy food and alcohol?”

Taguchi nodded and grinned “That sounds perfect. I’m really glad you’re happy with the plans, I was a little worried you might just want to have a relaxing weekend sitting doing nothing...” he laughed nervously “I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard.”

Ueda laughed back “No...it’s really nice of you...thank you.” There was silence for a little while as Ueda looked through the guidebook, then he cleared his throat a little uneasily “Junno...” when the younger man turned to him he continued “Looking at these things...flights, hotels, and scuba lessons and stuff...isn’t it a little too expensive, just, when I went with Maru we split the cost but you haven’t said...” he looked away a little embarrassed.

“Baka, you don’t need to pay anything, it’s my treat...”

“Junno, my birthday isn’t that special...”

“Well, maybe it’s not just about your birthday...maybe I just wanted to take you away for a while because it would be fun, and I would get you all to myself for a little while. Besides, I’ll enjoy it too, just as much as you will, so...”

Ueda laughed a little “Well yeah, and that’s sweet I appreciate it but...aren’t you usually pretty tight with money...and this...it’s a lot of money....”

Taguchi laughed a little too loudly “Hey! Don’t be mean, I’m not tight...I just don’t want to use money flippantly but this isn’t...and yeah it’s expensive but...I just did that drama, I can afford it right now...” Ueda wasn’t too convinced and he knew Taguchi could tell “Look, I wanted to do it ok...and I had the money...if I go broke in a few years, you can start paying me back then ok?”

Ueda couldn’t help but laugh, it was true, they were idols after all and with the drama too. And it’s not like he’d asked Taguchi to take him away and pay for it all. He nodded, relaxing a little “Thank you Junno.” Taguchi smiled back and nodded.


	22. October 6th 2012

Ueda woke up with a pounding headache, he glanced across the room to check if Taguchi was in a similar state, and was a little concerned that he wasn’t there, the bed didn’t even look touched.

He groaned and slowly got up, thinking over the previous night. After exploring the island a little they’d settled in a little bar beside a small beach and gorged themselves on so many different types of exotic fish before sampling the local alcohol. The last thing he could remember was sitting on the beach with Taguchi, a bottle of some kind of alcohol between them and he knew they were already pushing drunk by that point. The memory made him feel sick and he rushed to the bathroom, almost tripping over Taguchi who was sprawled across the floor, as he emptied his stomach into the toilet.

The man on the floor groaned. “Tatsuya? Everything hurts...”

“Baka, it’s because you drank too much...did you sleep there all night?” Taguchi nodded his head into the tiled floor. Ueda sighed, his stomach felt calmer now but his head still ached “You’re in a worse state than I am...so much for taking me hiking today.”

“I promise I’ll be ok later, I just need to sleep a while” the younger man groaned eyes still closed.

Ueda glanced at his watch, it was only 7am so there was plenty of time left to sleep.

“Come on then, let’s get you to bed.” And he practically carried Taguchi to his bed, he dropped him unceremoniously onto it and then stumbled back to his own.

“Tatsuya, my clothes...” came Taguchi’s needy whine.

Ueda dragged himself back up and back to Taguchi’s bed. “Help me then” he snapped as Taguchi didn’t even try to lift his hips to aid in taking off his trousers.

When he’d finally managed to strip Taguchi to his underwear, and tuck him under the thin sheets, he started on his own clothes.

“Taaaaatsuya” Taguchi whined again “I’m cold”

“Damn it Junno, I just took your clothes off, I’m not putting them back on!” he snapped, his head was hurting pretty badly.

“You don’t need to” Taguchi continued, unphased as he pulled back the covers.

Ueda gave an exasperated sigh but climbed into the cramped single bed with him anyway “Junno, if you’re sick on me, I swear I will beat you to within an inch of your life...” he warned, but the younger man just smiled and pressed close into his back, wrapping and arm around his chest and kissing his shoulder gently a few times, before drifting back to sleep.

He awoke next at around 11 and thinking they should probably make tracks if they wanted to get some hiking in, he shook Taguchi.

“How are you feeling now? Shall we get some breakfast and then try hiking?”

At least when the younger man’s eyes opened he looked a little more lucid.

“I feel much better, thank you baby” he said while yawning, before pulling Ueda close to him again “It must be your magical cuddles”

Ueda smacked his head gently, but couldn’t help laughing along with him “Are you still drunk?”

Eventually they each managed to get up and shower, before heading down to breakfast together. They took some extra bottles of water and some snacks for their hike and took local transport to the guide centre at Mt. Mihara.

“Ok, so how confident are you feeling?” Ueda asked smugly as they considered the map of routes.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll keep up” he smirked back.

Ueda accepted the challenge and picked out a medium-hard route “This one has a nice waterfall...you think you can handle it?” He waited long enough for Taguchi to compose himself and nod and then he dashed off in the direction of the trail.

He teased the younger man by staying a few feet ahead of him for the first ten minutes, but then he gave in, stopping to wait for him and slowing down so that he could keep up. Ueda was in control of the map and kept them on the right path, as they wound deeper into the dense trees, and the path got quieter as the sounds of nature got louder.

Something about the atmosphere soothed him, he loved the outdoors, being so close to nature, the sights, the sounds, the smells. His face lit up in a bright grin “Junno, this was a great idea...this place is beautiful...”

Taguchi took his hand subtly “It’s not as beautiful as you...”

He turned, blushing, a little surprised at Taguchi’s words but he could see the intensity in his eyes and he could think of no response. He stopped and glanced furtively around before gently pressing his lips against Taguchi’s. It was only an instant and then he pulled away but it left a shy tension between them. Taguchi chuckled lightly, breaking it and then Ueda turned, keeping hold of his hand as he pulled him along further.

They walked at a steady pace for another hour or so, the only sound the birds in the trees and the rustling of leaves, the crunch of the soil under their feet and the sporadic sighs of happiness coming from Ueda.

“According to the map we should be coming up on the waterfall soon...maybe when we get there we should stop for a snack?” Ueda asked, turning to face the other man.

“Sounds good to me.” Taguchi panted. It wasn’t a fast pace they were going at, but the paths were steep and winding with the terrain difficult in some places.

“Aww, Junno, are you tired?” Ueda teased but Taguchi just laughed as best he could. “Well, if it’s any consolation, it’s really sexy seeing you panting and sweating like that”

“Really?” Taguchi beamed and Ueda blushed again, turning and leading the way.

Ten minutes later they found themselves at the waterfall, it was small and quite calm but it was beautiful, mossy rocks jutting out to divert the cascading water in all directions before joining in the shallow pool below.

“Wow” Ueda gasped as he shrugged his bag from his back “I don’t understand why there aren’t more people here, glancing around he noticed they were still alone as they had been for most of the way.

“I think, maybe it’s the killer hiking route it takes to get to it” Taguchi panted, plonking himself down on the floor beside Ueda’s bag and dragging his own from his shoulders to join it.

Ueda sat beside him “I’m sorry Junno, I didn’t realise you were struggling so bad...”

Taguchi smiled “It’s not that bad, besides, it’s worth it to see you smile so much.”

Ueda punched his arm gently “Baka, I’m always smiling.”

Taguchi rubbed the spot gently, looking down as he blushed “Yeah, but this time it’s because of something I did for you. So it’s kind of like it’s me making you smile.”

“You always make me smile” Ueda protested.

“You’re sweet” Taguchi replied, leaning over to peck at his lips before rummaging around in his bag for the snacks.

They ate in relative silence, just enjoying their surroundings, but once he had finished eating, Ueda became restless. He took off his socks and shoes, playing with the warm soil under his toes for a little while, before getting up and running nimbly towards the falling water. “I want to go explore now.”

Taguchi sat a while watching him but then got up himself, he moved their bags closer to the water and then followed Ueda. “Tatsuya be careful near the water ok...”

“Junno look at this, there’s a little ledge here, if you step under the water, it looks like you can get onto it.” He held his hand out “Come on”

“Tatsuya, it looks dangerous...just be careful ok”

Ueda rolled his eyes at Taguchi’s caution and slipped deftly under the falling water, finding himself inside a kind of water tunnel, he walked along the narrow part of the ledge, past an opening in the curtain of water that lead down into the shallow pond and further, to where the path got a little wider and the rocks hung further out, making the shape of a small alcove. It wasn’t quite deep enough to be called a cave, but there was a slight bend in it and enough room for two people to fit quite snugly into it out of the sight of passersby.

He chuckled to himself as he thought of what two people could do in that space, the chuckles fading as his mind bent around the idea of what he and Taguchi could do in it. He dashed, carefully, back along the ledge and back out through the water.

“Junno you’ve got to come see this” he shouted, dragging Taguchi by the hand.

“What? Tatsuya...what...” but he followed along anyway, ducking his head through the water like it might prevent him from getting wet.

Ueda dragged him along the small ledge and along to the little alcove he’d found, he pushed Taguchi into it, pressing in after him so that they were only inches apart in the shadowy space. Ueda stood for a short while, just looking at him in the slight darkness, hearing the heavy splashing of the waterfall close by and their quiet breaths, beginning to deepen. He reached a hand out to rest it gently on Taguchi’s cheek, he rubbed his thumb gently across the soft lips a few times and then slipped his hand back, knotting his fingers into the younger man’s hair as he finally brought their mouths together.

The kiss was slow but deep, loaded with the tension of strong desire but held steady by the calm beauty of their location and by the powerful swelling that constricted Ueda’s chest. He let out a shaky breath across the younger man’s lips, looking up into the black-pools of his eyes, swimming with emotion and lust.

He gasped as he was suddenly spun around and lifted from the floor, he only had a moment to register the cold damp of the rocks against his back before he was pressed into from the front by something just as hard and unrelenting. He gasped again as Taguchi’s lips found his collarbone, sucking and biting as he ground his hips harder into the space between his legs.

Nothing was spoken other than Taguchi’s quiet ‘sshhh’ when his quiet moans grew too loud, as they continued, seemingly suspended in time in their own little corner of paradise.

When he came it felt like dying, like being burnt alive from the inside with the eruption of passion and feeling. Every inch of his skin tingling with the force of it and his throat burned with the effort of gulping down the still, humid air.

Taguchi’s lips eventually found his, and he focused on the feel of them against his own, on the physical feeling of Taguchi’s body still pressed against his, to bring him back down. When their lips parted he found himself standing back on the ground, Taguchi’s eyes cautiously searching his until he pulled him into a tight embrace.

For a few moments Ueda couldn’t even think, but then the realisation of their surroundings sunk in once more. “We should maybe head back now...” Ueda said slowly, pulling himself away.

Taguchi glanced at his watch, “there’s still enough time to go a little further up if you wanted?”

But Ueda just shook his head slowly “It’s ok”

Taguchi’s face looked a little confused “Don’t you want to see the view from the peak?”

Ueda shook his head again slowly, eyes taking in every millimetre of Taguchi’s face. “I can see all I want to see right here”

Taguchi was speechless for a moment, but then something seemed to spark in his eyes “Oh Tatsuya” and he pulled the older man’s face towards him, kissing him deeply.


	23. October 7th 2012

Taguchi was a little surprised when he woke to find Ueda curled up with him in his single bed. He glanced at the ruffled sheets of Ueda’s bed, and then down at the small frame of the man himself fast asleep and clutching Taguchi’s own arm to his chest. He wondered briefly when he’d crept into his bed, but it didn’t matter, it was sweet enough that he had. He lay his head back down, breathing in the familiar scent of Ueda’s shampoo, and wrapped his free arm around Ueda’s body.

He woke next to the distant sound of Ueda’s phone alarm, and said man trying to sneak slowly out from his grasp.

“Caught you” he smiled smugly, pulling Ueda tight into his chest again.

“Baka, let me get the alarm” the older man retorted, as he untangled himself and got out of bed. Taguchi rolled over and pulled back to covers to invite him back in but Ueda shook his head “We need to get up...we have a scuba lesson in less than an hour, and I need breakfast...”

“Fine” Taguchi conceded as he got up, but he playfully tackled Ueda, pulling him down onto the other bed. They both scrambled for dominance but Taguchi eventually won out, though he suspected it was only because Ueda was still sleepy. He pinned the older man down using his full body “I know you snuck into my bed to cuddle”

“I wasn’t cuddling...” Ueda protested “I was cold...”

Taguchi chuckled “Not cold enough to put any clothes on...” he retorted back and he could see Ueda had no response.

“Shut up, you liked it just as much as I did.”

His smile widened “I’m not denying I like cuddling”. He was a little surprised when Ueda’s only response to that was to lean up and capture his lips. Though he soon realised it was just a diversion tactic when Ueda threw his body weight up, shoving Taguchi to the side before getting up and skipping towards the bathroom and giggling delightedly at his escape.

They both took very well to scuba diving. To begin, they had a lengthy lesson in one of the local pools, just to get them familiar with the equipment and procedures, and then after a short stop for lunch in one of the family restaurants they went out with a small group and their instructors to dive in some of the most popular diving spots.

“It’s a shame we didn’t see any turtles or sharks...” Taguchi whined a little once they were back in their hotel room in the late afternoon.

“We saw lots of pretty fish though, and plants and all the lava stuff...” Ueda replied still happy and excited from all the new experiences.

“Yeah that was nice...I guess we’re just too late in the year for the other stuff...”

“Sorry, I’ll try and be born earlier in the year next time...” Ueda teased.

Taguchi couldn’t help but laugh a little. “We should probably be getting showered and changed, there’s still more planned for today...”

“I did wonder if you were going to bring up my surprise again...”

Taguchi chuckled again “I do have a couple of things left to sort out actually...so how about I go take a shower and go get everything sorted, and then I’ll come pick you up here when I’m ready?”

“Oooh” Ueda teased again, though it was spoiled by the blush rising on his cheeks “Sounds like something special...”

Taguchi let his concerns show for the first time “You might not like it...hell you might flat out refuse to go with me when you find out...well, anyway I think I’ve said enough already.”

“Juuuuunno” Ueda whined “You can’t tease me like that...now I want to know.” Taguchi placed a gentle kiss against his lips and then headed for the bathroom without another word.

He was feeling quite nervous by the time he came back out of the bathroom, but he tried not to let it show as he hunted around for some clean, reasonably smart clothes to put on. In the end he went with chinos and a loose shirt, it was still warm out right now, but it could be quite cold by the time they headed back. He made a mental note to ask for a few extra blankets, and then he went over to Ueda’s bed, where the other was watching him over the top of his manga.

“Ok I need to get going, I shouldn’t be gone more than half an hour or so, you’ll be ready?” Ueda nodded slowly, almost uncertainly, and Taguchi could only assume his anxiousness was showing after all.

Ueda was ready as promised when he returned. Taguchi still felt nervous but now there were trails of excitement licking through him as well. He took Ueda’s hand and lead him to the elevator, though making sure to maintain a suitable distance as they passed through the crowded lobby. Once outside he sped up, motioning Ueda to follow him, along the wooden harbour before stopping in front of a small boat.

“Tatsuya? Do you trust me?” he asked, turning to the other.

“With my life” he replied, raising an eyebrow almost comically which had Taguchi breaking out into a grin again.

“Then hop aboard” And he climbed onto the boat, holding out a hand to help Ueda onto it too.

Taguchi lead Ueda round to the back of the boat where there were a few small seats surrounding an open space of floor on which he’d spread some blankets, along with a picnic hamper and a cooler.

“You did all of this for me?” Ueda asked astonished as he kicked off his sandals and settled on the blankets.

Taguchi just smiled “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be over there behind the wheel” and he nodded his head at the small cabin that served as a control room. He could feel his hands clamming up a little as he turned on the engine and manoeuvred the small boat out of the harbour. He’d already planned the route ahead of time, so once they were out on the open water it was easy enough to relax and just follow his scribbled guidelines.

Once the sailing was smooth, Ueda got up and came to join him in the cabin, he stepped up slowly behind him, wrapping his strong arms around Taguchi’s waist and resting his head against his back.

“Thank you Junno, this is really lovely”

Taguchi smiled to himself “I’m glad, I half expected you would refuse to get on a boat with me if I’m the one driving.”

“Baka, I already told you I trust you.” Taguchi nodded, he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

He looked out of the windows then “There’s some pretty scenery, and if you keep an eye on the water you might be able to see some fish and stuff too...I thought we’d take a little trip round the island and then stop a little way off the west coast for food.”

“Sounds good to me” and he reached up to place a kiss on Taguchi’s cheek before going back outside, this time to the front of the boat so he could watch the water over the side.

When they were far enough around, Taguchi slowed down before finally switching off the engine. They were far enough out that it would be fine for them to just sit atop the waves for a while, but close enough in that they weren’t in any danger of drifting too far. All the same he detached the GPS console, taking it and the map along with him as he went to settle at the back of the boat.

He’d barely even sat down when Ueda came to join him, crawling into his lap and pecking softly at his face and lips. He returned the gesture, threading his fingers gently into Ueda’s hair and turning him just enough to lick his way softly into the older man’s warm mouth. He pulled away only reluctantly when he heard a loud rumble from Ueda’s stomach. Ueda giggled as he sat back, a mischievous expression on his face.

“I think we’ll have some food before anymore of that...” Taguchi mock scolded him.

“I did wonder at the rather secluded location” Ueda teased looking around “Just what exactly were you planning on doing to me out here?”

Taguchi laughed a little “Only what you ask me too...” but another loud grumble encouraged him to reach for the hamper. Inside he’d packed a selection of Ueda’s favourite foods, cooked fresh by the kitchen staff at the hotel and packed into insulated tubs to keep it warm. He took off the lids and laid the selection out on the blankets “Sorry, I forgot to bring the good china” he joked.

Ueda shook his head “This is perfect” and he dug in eagerly as soon as Taguchi passed him some chopsticks. Taguchi dug in too but he held himself back a little, he knew Ueda liked his food and lots of it, so he wanted to make sure Ueda’s hunger was fully satisfied first. He was pleased to note that all of the food went, and Ueda’s stomach had finally stopped growling. They drank water from flasks with their meal but as he pulled out dessert from the cooler, milk crepes of course, he also took out a fancy looking bottle and some nice glasses.

“It’s apple and elderflower juice” he said as Ueda raised an eyebrow “I do intend on getting us back to shore in one piece” and he poured them each a glass as they started on dessert and then Taguchi cleared everything away bar the juice and glasses and they snuggled closer together, wrapping a blanket around their shoulders in the cool evening air.

“When did it start getting dark?” Ueda asked looking around suddenly.

“I think somewhere round about your 20th takoyaki” Taguchi teased “It’s ok...this is where the show really starts” he said pointing out towards the horizon.

Ueda turned his head just in time to see the large orb of the sun begin to dip below the horizon. He gasped “Wow, Junno...this is beautiful...”, but Taguchi just smiled, pecked him gently on the cheek and then let his head rest against Ueda’s as they watched the sunset together.

When he’d planned it all out, he thought the whole idea of watching the sunset sounded kind of cheesy, but he decided to go with it anyway and he was so glad that he had. There was no trace of sarcasm or humour in Ueda’s face as he gasped, exhilarated by the tangible changes in the colours of the sky.

When the sun was almost completely below the horizon Ueda turned to him, eyes deep, swimming with some emotion strong enough to bring moisture to the edges of them. Taguchi placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him, slowly, comforting him even as the older man shuddered and a small bead of moisture ran down over Taguchi’s hand. He pulled away looking into Ueda’s blushing face, concerned.

“Nobody’s ever done anything like this for me before” Ueda whispered before seeking out his lips again, molding into them urgently.

He couldn’t place his finger on it, not with the way his head was swimming, what this emotion was that was driving Ueda desperately towards him and tightening his own chest. 

There was no protest as he moved his body around, encouraging Ueda onto his back before settling himself atop the older man, pressed tight along his body, between his legs. He ravished the soft lips furiously, plunging his tongue deep into the other man’s mouth as though it might alleviate the knot rising in his throat.

Ueda broke away with an almost pitiful whine. “Junno” his voice was as shaky as Taguchi felt “I need you, please...”

He wasted no time in reaching out for the extra blankets, throwing them over himself and Ueda before shuffling down to undo Ueda’s trousers, kissing along his abs as he did. Ueda whined and tugged at him urgently with his hands, he would have laughed at the needy gesture if he could think straight, but as it was all he could feel was confusion and desperation.

He pushed on quickly, removing their clothes and reaching for the lube he’d secretly stashed in the blankets. He moved to spread some on his fingers, but a hand caught his wrist. He looked up and there was something strange in Ueda’s eyes, like fear but mingled with trust and most notable, need. Ueda slowly raised his legs, allowing room for Taguchi to slide between them and though no words were spoken he understood. He applied the lube instead to his erection, with all the haze fogging his head he hadn’t even noticed he was hard, but he was, achingly so, and he needed Ueda now more than he’d ever felt he had.

He held Ueda’s body close, whispering gentle words into his ear through the first painful push, and then moved back just enough that he could lock eyes with the other man as he continued, perfectly, torturously slowly.

He knew it was different, he could feel it in his own body, the way his hair seemed to stand on end and his heart pounded with more than desire, the way he could think of nothing but sunsets and tender kisses and the slow shaky breaths from the man beneath him.

Ueda’s eyes remained looking into his, searching almost, as though he too could feel something had changed and only Taguchi could reveal the answers. They closed momentarily when the older man reached his climax, the moisture that had been building there finally tipping over and running from beneath the closed lids. The only other reaction he made was the harsh, involuntary constrictions that were powerful enough to push Taguchi, unexpectedly to his release.

He waited until his tremors faded before pulling out slowly, pressing his lips to Ueda’s temple to discourage the pained hiss, but there was none, as he pulled back he noticed only more tears, silent and sporadic until Ueda composed himself, shaking his head and laughing breathlessly.

Taguchi sought out his eyes again, confused and afraid though he was still unable to grasp why. He could see the echoes of fear in Ueda’s eyes too, but the older man laughed again chasing them away, and he grasped gently at Taguchi’s hand.

“Thank you Junno, this whole vacation has been...it’s been indescribable...” he smiled sweetly. Taguchi nodded, unable to think of the correct response, he couldn’t shake his uncertainty the way Ueda clearly could and he felt worried that he couldn’t even recall what had caused it.

Eventually he moved away, gathering together his clothes and passing Ueda’s back to him, and then he returned to the cabin, turning on the engine, and they began the silent ride back to shore.


	24. October 11th 2012

“Hi Tatsuya, it’s just me...again. I was just a bit worried since you still haven’t been replying to my mails...or anything...” Taguchi said to Ueda’s voicemail. “I spoke to Koki, and he said he just got back from lunch with Maru...who said he spoke to you earlier today, so I know you’re ok, I just...we haven’t even spoken to each other since we got back...and...” he paused to clear his throat “I guess you’re just busy or something, but I’m free tonight...maybe if you could find the time you could come over or something...I can make some food...or...well, just let me know anyway...bye” and he hung up the phone.

He sighed, something was wrong, it had to be. He’d gotten so used to receiving silly mails from Ueda throughout the day, even when they had seen each other, so not to hear anything at all from him in almost three days...It had to be something to do with their trip, it had been so much fun, and so incredibly perfect, but Ueda’s behaviour had been off since they got back from the boat ride.

As soon as they’d returned to the hotel Ueda had showered and readied himself for bed with barely a word, but when after he’d got ready for bed himself, he found Ueda curled up in his bed, waiting for him, he thought Ueda really must have just been tired.

The next morning Ueda had still been rather quiet, but it didn’t feel so strange between them, and after a hearty meal they returned to the airport to head home. Taguchi dropped Ueda back off at his own apartment then headed home but other than a mail saying thank you for the vacation, he’d heard nothing more from Ueda.

The next day he’d tried to call the other man, but there’d been no answer, he knew Ueda was back working with the variety show already so he just tried again later, but there was still no answer.

He’d then spent the next two days calling or mailing whenever he got chance between work but he still heard nothing from Ueda. Once he’d even driven way out of his way to pass Ueda’s apartment, when he noticed the lights were on he tried calling again but there was still no answer and he felt it would be weird to just let himself in when Ueda may or may not be avoiding him.

He sighed to himself, that must be it, he’d spoken to the other members and they’d seen or at least spoken to Ueda over the past few days, it seemed Ueda even told Koki all about their vacation, though he did leave out the x-rated parts. So why wouldn’t Ueda reply to him? He knew it was only a matter of time though, the whole group had choreography rehearsals the next morning, Ueda couldn’t avoid him there.

He was surprised when his phone beeped just a few minutes later. His heart fluttered a moment when Ueda’s name flashed across the screen, it was a message from the other man ‘I have some things to do after work, I could come by after nine though, if you want me too?’

Taguchi quickly replied that he would be really happy if he came by. There was no other response from Ueda, but at least he’d agreed to see him later that night. Taguchi smiled to himself, but he was glad he had work today, nine seemed an unbearably long time away.

It was closer to half nine when he heard the door open, he abandoned his DS and rushed to the door. “Tatsuya” he smiled, surprising even himself with how much relief there was in his tone.

Ueda’s face lit up too and Taguchi quickly wrapped his arms around him, relieved almost to tears when Ueda’s arms came up around his back, squeezing him just as tightly.

“Sorry I’m late...my car conked out earlier, and I had to take it the garage but they say they need to order parts...or something...” Ueda said as he pulled slowly away.

Taguchi shook his head dismissively, smile still wide “That’s ok, you’re here now. I’ve been so worried...you weren’t replying to...” he noticed the smile slide slowly from Ueda’s face and he stopped, not wanting to ruin the mood further. “Anyway, I’ll finish the food...I didn’t want to start the noodles until you got here or they’d just turn to mush.”

Ueda nodded “Thank you” and he took off his coat and shoes before going to sit down at the kotatsu.

Taguchi finished preparing the food, it was just a simple stir-fry but he’d made it quite a few times and he knew Ueda really liked it, and he was pretty confident that he’d mastered getting the right ratio of spices for Ueda’s tastes. He set it down on the kotatsu and sat down to join the other man.

He was a little unnerved to see that quiet, thoughtful expression back on Ueda’s face, but he tried to make conversation all the same, asking about Ueda’s activities the past few days, upcoming projects...safe topics, but it seemed he was trying in vain as Ueda’s responses were short and closed.

His stomach was doing strange flips, and his heart was beating a little too fast in his unease, something was definitely still wrong.

“Is there...is it not good?” Taguchi asked, nodding towards Ueda’s plate, he’d barely eaten anything and had instead been just absent-mindedly pushing it around his plate with it with his chopsticks.

Ueda seemed to realise what he was doing and set his chopsticks down, pushing the plate away a little. “Sorry, it’s good...I’m just not hungry” his eyes moved up locking with Taguchi’s for the first time “I’m sorry”

“It’s ok...” Taguchi replied though he knew it wasn’t. It wasn’t about the food, it was about everything, Ueda’s behaviour was just strange, and he didn’t like it, he didn’t know what it meant but he knew it wasn’t good and part of him was terrified.

He cleared away the plates and came into the living room, he found Ueda standing, looking out of place and almost like he didn’t know what to do with himself. Something inside him snapped.

“What? What’s going on with you Tatsuya...you’ve been acting really strange ever since that night on the boat...and frankly you’re scaring the shit out of me...just...just talk to me...”

Ueda’s eyes were wide with surprise “I’m sorry...”

“You don’t need to apologise baby, I don’t need that, I need an explanation...did I do something wrong?”

Ueda shook his head furiously “It’s not that, I promise, please...I just don’t want to talk about it right now...”

“Then when? Are you just going to go back to ignoring me until you feel like letting me in...?”

He could see Ueda was getting upset but he couldn’t back down, he needed things to be ok between them.

“Don’t Junno...please don’t make this harder...” tears were building up in the corners of his eyes “don’t make me say it...”

Taguchi’s head was pounding with the adrenaline, he was scared and confused and he knew this must be worse than he’d imagined but he couldn’t stop, if he didn’t do this now he would never have the courage to push Ueda to this again. “You think this isn’t hard on me too? At least you know what’s going on...you won’t tell me anything!”

Ueda was shaking his head “I can’t” he looked up then, eyes locking with Taguchi’s “Junno...I can’t keep doing this anymore...”

His heart stopped, he could almost feel all the heat being drained from his body, leaving nothing but confusion and numbness. “Can’t keep doing what?”

“Us! This!” Ueda snapped as he motioned between them with his hand, his voice was too high, to stretched out. “Being with you like this...and pretending I’m not in love with you.”

Taguchi was surprised, but the words came easily “I love you too”. They were the words he’d been hiding from for so long, the thoughts he kept pushing away, telling himself it wasn’t true, he just cared deeply for the other man, nothing more. But when they left his lips he was in no doubt, he’d never meant anything as much as he meant those words.

He rushed to embrace Ueda as the older man hung his head, tears falling now. “Junno...we said this wouldn’t happen”

He rubbed soothingly at his back “We didn’t mean for it to happen...

“We should have just stopped after the tour...” Ueda protested, voice thick.

“But then we would have missed out on so much...I don’t regret any of it...I’ve loved so much of our time together, and if that means I love you too, then so be it.”

“But Junno, you understand right...we can’t be together if it’s like this...”

His heart sunk, of course he knew it, and he figured that must be the reason he’d been denying his feelings for so long, because he didn’t want to lose what they had. He laughed bitterly but it was something short and humourless “This isn’t how it’s supposed to work...in the fairytales they fall in love and live happily ever after.”

Ueda pulled back to look into Taguchi’s eyes “Junno, this isn’t a fairy tale...”

He could feel it coming, the moment when they parted, and his heart began to tighten, his chest cold and empty and he felt hot tears trickle down his face before he even knew they were there. “Can’t we pretend...” he saw the pity in Ueda’s eyes and he tried to hold back a sob as he continued. “Baby please...even if it’s just for tonight?”

Ueda gulped, trying to hold back his own tears “Junno...”

He felt agony tear through him at the thought of Ueda walking out of the door without him, it crumpled him to his knees and he grasped onto Ueda’s legs to keep him grounded “Tatsuya please...”

“Just for tonight then...like Cinderella or something, we can have our fairytale magic. Just for tonight, we’re allowed to love each other...”


	25. October 12th 2012

As he began to wake, he felt the warmth seeping into him from the body curled against his, for a moment he felt happy, but then the previous night came back to him and emptiness set in once more. He looked down at Taguchi, still sleeping peacefully and all he could hope was that the young man would sleep as long as possible, that he could keep dreaming as long as possible. But he knew it was only matter of time before they had to get up, before they had to face the world that had so cruelly brought them together only for them to have to tear themselves apart.

His mind flitted back to the previous night, the way Taguchi had fallen to his knees in anguish and begged him...he had to stop thinking of it, it wouldn’t help anything to shed more tears. It had been slightly better later, and so he focused on that, how he’d made love to Taguchi, allowing himself for the first time to see it for what it was, allowing himself to tell Taguchi that, to whisper sweet words and promises into his ear as though they would still mean something the next day.

Afterwards they’d cuddled close, they talked about their relationship and the things they liked most about it, the things that made them laugh and smile, and Ueda talked through the things he’d realised as they’d watched the sun setting that night.

They dragged the night out as long as possible, until the sun was already lighting a stripe along the skyline, but inevitably they fell asleep, breaking the spell.

His chest hurt, it was suffocatingly tight and he found his breathing thick and harsh, like trying to breathe through smoke. Was this what heartbreak felt like? He thought he’d felt it before, when Ryoko had betrayed him, but it wasn’t the same. Back then he’d felt angry and hurt and humiliated, he’d wanted to shout and scream and hit things and also to cry, but he’d never dreaded waking up the way he did last night, he’d never felt so lost and completely alone.

“Morning” came Taguchi’s voice, pulling him back to reality.

“Morning Taguchi” he responded, and he felt his heart break all over again at the transition of emotions on the younger man’s face, first confusion, then recognition, then sadness and finally something worse.

“I guess this is it then? The magic is over? And we’re...” he gulped and Ueda nodded reluctantly.

“I’ll go shower” Ueda said finally, pulling himself out of bed. But he showered quickly, dismayed that even the bathroom held such wonderful memories for them and then he dressed and dried his hair as Taguchi showered.

As he moved from the bedroom to the kitchen he tried to ignore the distraught sobs he heard coming from the bathroom, he rubbed at his own eyes furiously, discouraging his own tears.

When Taguchi finally joined him in the kitchen, almost all trace of his sadness was gone, it was only visible deep in his eyes and Ueda tried not to look for it. Taguchi smiled brightly suddenly. “At least it’s not like a drama...one of us didn’t die...and we can still be friends right?”

Ueda couldn’t help but laugh “Of course, we can”.

Taguchi made breakfast and then drove them both to work, Ueda hoped his car was ready to pick up today or he’d be in trouble...maybe Maru would give him a ride, he couldn’t exactly expect it from Taguchi now.

He didn’t even notice they’d arrived until Taguchi switched off the engine and spoke to him “Ready?” Ueda put on his brave face. “I think we should...you know, let the guys know...just so they don’t say anything that...well, I mean it’s best that they know...” Ueda thought about it for a moment but he was right, they could hardly just split up without telling anyone, not after all the mess they caused lying about being together in the first place.

“Yeah you’re right” he agreed and they headed inside.

Ueda was glad to see that everyone was already there when they walked in, it was only a few minutes until they were due in rehearsals after all.

“Hey guys, before we go down, could we...could we talk to you for a minute.” Ueda asked nervously.

Kame’s eyes narrowed in apprehension “What? What’s happened?”

Ueda actually laughed “Calm down, it’s nothing to worry about.” Kame nodded and then they all sat down on the sofa, Taguchi and Ueda taking a seat on the table in front of them.

“We just wanted to let you guys know that we’re not going to...see each other anymore...in that way.” Taguchi announced.

“What?” Kame asked surprised.

“It’s nothing to worry about, we didn’t fight or anything, we’re still good, just we’ve noticed things getting a bit too serious between us recently...and we figured that can’t be good...so we just...before things go any further.” Taguchi continued.

Kame nodded thoughtfully “It makes sense...I’m glad you’re being sensible about it.”

“Are you going to be ok...like working together and stuff?” Koki chipped in.

“Of course...we’re still going to be the same...only you know...not so much with the fucking...” Taguchi continued, grimacing towards the end.

“Well, I for one” started Maru, standing up “Will be happy things are back to normal, what was with all that nonsense anyway...let’s go rehearse.”

Ueda tried not to flinch at Maru’s harsh words, but there would be no point in defending what they had when they didn’t even have it anymore. He stood and followed Maru out of the room, the others behind him.

He focused as much as he could on the rehearsal, but he was relieved when it was over. They all showered and then began leaving for the day, Maru first, followed by Koki. Ueda went out of the room to call the garage and check on his car, they said they hoped to have it running by tomorrow. He was about the re-enter the room when he heard Kame’s voice.

“Taguchi, can I talk to you?”

“Is it about Uepi?” came Taguchi’s reply.

“Yeah...”

“Then no.” Taguchi replied shortly and his tone said it was final. Ueda slowly pushed the door open and walked in. “Is your car ready?” Taguchi asked turning to him. Ueda just shook his head, shrugging. “I’m about ready to go...I can give you a ride home if you want?”

“I’ll be alright, thanks though...I was going to go for a run anyway...maybe hit the gym”

Taguchi nodded unsatisfied, he glanced at Kame, but when he saw the other man was still dressing, he continued anyway. “Hey...I was thinking...there’s still some of your stuff at my place...clothes and stuff...I could pack it all up and drop it off later?”

Ueda nodded but he could feel a lump rising in his throat “Sure, I’ll pack your stuff up too...”

“What time would be best for you?” Taguchi continued reluctantly.

“I guess, after eight?” his voice sounded too thick.

“Sure” Taguchi nodded. “And you’re sure you’ll be ok? You don’t need a ride?” He didn’t trust his voice so he just shook his head, watching as Taguchi left the room. He could feel heat behind his eyes and he turned to busy himself with his bag, hiding his face from Kame.

“Tacchan?” Kame asked quietly, concerned. He couldn’t answer, the tears were already coming, he bit his lip to hold back a sob, but when he felt Kame’s hand press gently onto his shoulder he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He would have crumpled forward if Kame hadn’t pulled him into an embrace. “Oh Tacchan” Kame said pityingly, but Ueda could do nothing but cling onto him, desperate sobs wracking his chest.

Kame rubbed his back soothingly, whispering words of comfort into his hair. “I’m sorry Kame, we should have listened to you...you were right all along...”

“Shhh, that doesn’t matter now, what matters, is that you’re alright...”

Ueda shook his head “It hurts so much...”

“What happened?”

He tried to stand up, to face Kame “I love him” but the sobs started again at his confession “Kame, I love him so much I can’t breathe...” his knees gave way and Kame sunk to the floor with him, still holding him close. He couldn’t say how long they sat there, but the tears eventually subsided again and he pulled himself together, loosening his grip on Kame’s shirt as he sat up on his own. “I’m sorry...you told me not to come crying to you when it all blew up in my face...”

Kame shook his head “Yeah well, back then I didn’t expect that to actually happen” there was a small silence “I’m not going to lecture you over this, I think it’s hard enough on you already...but I will be there for you, if you need anything...not sex” he added smirking and Ueda laughed shakily. “Come on I’ll get you home.”

When they pulled up outside his apartment he insisted to Kame that he’d be ok from here, and he went up alone. He tried not to picture Taguchi’s presence as he moved around, collecting together Taguchi’s belongings, blinking back tears.

By the time he finished there were still hours before Taguchi would show up, but he couldn’t bear to push the final ending forward, and so he amused himself by taking the dogs out for a walk and then doing a little boxing training before showering. At eight he sat down on the sofa, the TV that he wasn’t watching playing quietly in the background.

He arrived at around quarter past eight, he let himself into the building with his key but he knocked at Ueda’s apartment door and waited for him to answer it.

He smiled sadly at Ueda as he opened the door, but without further ceremony he passed the box over. Ueda took it reluctantly and placed it on the floor behind him, not having the strength yet to look at its contents.

“I had some stuff like the shakes you drink and some stuff from the bakery you like...so I sent those too...I kept the tea in case you ever...you know...”

Ueda nodded “Thank you” he turned and picked up the box of Taguchi’s things he’d packed, he’d left it in the genkan so that he didn’t have to look at it while he waited.

“So...” Taguchi said, and he placed the box on the floor beside him. He reached into his pocket and Ueda’s stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch as Taguchi held out his key.

“Keep it” he said without thinking.

Taguchi looked surprised “Are you sure?”

“Yeah” Ueda replied quickly, he couldn’t explain why the key was worse, why it felt like the end. “You know...if I have to go away or something...then...the dogs...” he continued quickly.

Taguchi smiled “Then you can hang on to mine too...you know, if I go away...you can look after the plants again...”

Ueda laughed “Yeah ok.” Then he shook his head a little bitterly.

“So I guess this is it...”

“Yeah” Ueda replied and he slotted himself securely into Taguchi’s arms one last time. “Thank you Junno, I love you.”  
“I love you too baby” Taguchi answered, and then he pulled away, picking up his box and then he left.


End file.
